12 Insights into My Soul

Ok, so maybe that's not quite the line from You've Got Mail, but it sort of fits. There's been this game going around Facebook where friends give you a number and you have to post a list with that number of items people may not know about you. (I recognize the ridiculous length and roundaboutness of that sentence.) I have been so busy (no, not lazy) this week that this fad may already be over and I'm just getting on board.

A friend gave me the number 12. So here are 12 things you may or may not already know about me!

1. I Have a Fear of Closets
When I was a younger there was a live action Alice in Wonderland movie that was on TV. The Jabberwocky scared the underpants off of me. I became convinced that the Jabberwocky lived in my closet. To this day I cannot sleep if there is a closet door ajar in the same room with me. Let's take the crazy one step further. When I stay somewhere other than my own house I have to check the closet in whatever bedroom I sleep in. Ingrained weirdness.

2. I Had a Blankie
I was a blankie lover. I could have given Linus a run for his money if he weren't a fictional cartoon character. I would stand under the clothes line, sucking my thumb, while hanging on to one corner of it while it dried from washing.

3. Do Re Mi
I took private voice lessons for 7 years. For the majority of that time I had a voice teacher who terrified me into practicing every day. Which made me a much better singer. I wanted to be an actress when I was younger. I loved being on stage becoming another character. I loved singing through a show. I still love to sing. I just do it in the car or around the house instead of on stage. When DH is out of the house I'll hook up the computer to the TV, turn it all the way up and sing my heart out along with any musical soundtrack or some Sutton Foster.

4. Beets Taste Purple
They just do and I can't stomach that. Purple, people, purple. One of the few foods I cannot stand.

5. I Take My TV Seriously
When the Bestie and I lived together the very first year in Da Burgh, she had never watched Grey's Anatomy regularly. I adored that show. I never missed an episode, even if I had to record it on VHS. Yes, you read that right. VHS. One night after a day of clinic and class we were eating dinner and sitting on the couch. Every couple seconds she would ask another question. I calmly waited until a commercial, turned to her, picked up my fork and said "If you say one more word during this episode I will stab you with this fork." She took it pretty well considering I had just threatened physical violence over Mer and McDreamy.

6. Go Away Bing Crosby
I really really REALLY can't stand Christmas music until a couple weeks prior to Christmas. I feel this is a safe place that I can share this.

7. Hollywood Ain't Got Nothing On Me
My imagination is incredibly overactive. I can watch movies that cover any subject...as long as it would stay daylight forever. Maybe that's another reason to consider emmigrating to Scotland. It stays light outside for a looong time part of the year. Once the lights go out, I start to think of all the weird messed up things that happen in movies and then I'm too terrified to move. I have restrained myself from waking DH up and making him stay up with me up to this point, but it's probably not far off. I just try to avoid all horror and scary sci-fi movies.

8. Is Mom In the Room?
I am becoming more and more like my mom in weird ways. Like when I talk and cry at the same time, I sound just like her. I say things that she's always said them. Things slip out and I think "Oh goodness, there's mom." It's not bad, just a weird transition as I'm growing older.

9. Get In Ma Belly!
I can eat. A lot. Like, a lot a lot. I had to prove to DH that I wasn't all talk. He was duly impressed. I think it's because I'm a fairly small girl. Except for that booty. But otherwise I'm pretty petite. So when I say things like I can put away an entire large pizza in one sitting, or a half dozen donuts, or a whole batch of rice krispie treats in one work day, I have to prove that my stomach is as big as my mouth. Which in turn leads to that booty.

10. Dream On
I don't know if this is common, but I dream in all five senses. I also remember a lot of my dreams, dream almost every night, and I have recurring dreams since childhood that I can recognize while in the dream. I've heard and read different things about dreaming in all five senses. So I don't know if this is odd or not. I will say it's an odd feeling to be dreaming and find myself thinking "Oh, this frog guy again. Ok, so this will happen next. And then this. And here comes the flipping land rover right on cue." Maybe I'm in a real world Inception?

11.  Curse You, Pie Crust!
I am a pretty stellar baker. However I do have an arch nemesis. Her name is Pie Crust. Only a woman could be this cruel, hence Pie Crust is a she. I can get a good batch of pie crust maybe 10% of the time. Even the No Fail recipes fail me. Seriously?!?!? I was given a special pie fork by my original MAPC (Masters Against Pie Crust) which has proven ineffective. Pie Crust, you are my Kryptonite.

12. I Love Trashy TV
I will turn on Bravo or TLC on my day off and leave it on all day. It's a sickness.

Our Wedding Day...er...Continued

Have y'all ever woke up in the middle of the night with the kind of migraine/tension headache that makes you want to break a toe just to forget how bad your head hurts? That's exactly what happened the night before our wedding. I woke up multiple times that night and no matter what I did I couldn't get rid of the migraine. I finally got up super early, called my momma who was next door at the hotel, and used my last "Please come help me I'm sick" card of my before-married life. She came over with Advil, and electrostim machine and tea and fixed me up proper. I love my momma.

By the time we left for my bridal brunch, and after a quick trip to Walgreens for Excedrin and champagne, my head felt better and we could get on with the day! A dear friend from work threw us beautiful laid back brunch with tasty food, lovely drinks and lots of laughs. Then it was off to the races!

A whirlwind six hours later that were full of last minute fixes - "Oh I can fix that" was something that consistently came out of one bridesmaid's mouth...and she did! And a memorable "I need a pair of pliers!" in the groom's room... - laughter, especially when someone was up under my dress tying my petticoat, and tears for those who couldn't be with us, those who have passed on before their times and tears of happiness, and we were ready to get married. I was literally sitting on a chair that was under my dress when my coordinator came in at 6:05 and I said "What's going on? What are we waiting for?" and she replied "We're waiting for you!" I almost took the chair with me in my haste to get down that aisle.

*Our photographer, Monica Burkett of Freshold Photography, is the same photographer who did our engagement photos. We love her and her work!

I have never been happier to see DH than I was when we reached the end of the aisle. He looked so handsome and sure and not at all nervous. A short 20 minutes later I was allowed to kiss my man and call myself a wife!

From there on out the night flew and slowed down all at once. We had a lot of people tell us that their wedding is a blur, but for me I remember everything. It just went so fast!

And it all came about because a guy and a girl took a chance on one another...

Movin' On Up

Well peeps (yes, I just typed the word "peeps"), I've been pretty quiet lately. There has been a lot of just stuff that either isn't something I'd like to share - now don't go thinking wild thoughts, y'all. We all have things that we choose to keep out of our blogospheres, right? - or things I couldn't share. At least one thing is finally official and a done deed and I can share.

I had a great opportunity at work this past fall to be a candidate for a leadership role. After applying, interviewing, oh and throw in some waiting - it is a hospital system after all - I am so excited to say that I have accepted the position of Audiology Coordinator!

I've missed having a leadership role since I entered the workforce. Every workplace has it's structure and some structures allow for leadership opportunities sooner than others. There are definitely pros and cons to quickly allowing these opportunities and holding off until you know that your employees are ready. I am in the place that I needed to be for this opportunity to work out.

I have grown so much since starting at my job - and oh heavens, some of it was NOT pretty - and I'm looking forward to the challenges ahead.

Whew! I'm glad I can share!

My Imaginary Friends

Share 5 Fictional Friends you'd want in real life. (Movie/Book/TV etc.) (inspired by Hooked and Happy)

1. Loralie Gilmore. C'mon, people, I want to hang in Star's Hollow. The wit. The smart humor. The fast talking. The cute clothes. The troubadour weddings. How can you not want to be friends with Loralie?

2. Claire DeTamble. She deals with a time traveling husband. Clearly she can teach me how to handle ANY stressful situation in life. Also, she doesn't mope over Henry being gone. She doesn't like it but she doesn't mope over it. I picture this happening: "Henry, can you pick up some milk?" "I did, but it's from 10 years ago. Sorry."

3. Natalie (The House Bunny). She had the idea for a BYOM party! Bring your own MOUSE. Seriously. That kind of inspiration can't be replicated.

4. Walter White. I'd be terrified of disappointing him, but it would be magnificent to see it up close and in person. Plus if I need these pesky student loans paid off, surely he can spare that kind of cash. He's Heisenberg, after all.

5. A younger Cristina Yang. You know, the Yang that was in the first couple seasons. On a side note, I've given up on Grey's in the last year. But Yang I shall always love, even the more melancholy Yang.
"It's small. It's tiny size. It has cat-type creatures on it. But it is a chair. For ninety-nine cents, you can buy furniture. That is America, man! "
courtesy of http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0962365/quotes

Working for the Man

If you think that I'm referring to the pediatric hospital I work for, you would be mistaken. If you think it's the credit card companies, you would be mistaken. If you think for my car loan company, you would be mistaken.

If, however, you think of student loans, then you have hit the dubious jackpot!

I'd like to tell you a very long story in as little time as possible. Once upon a time, I was blessed to go to undergrad at an in-state school, where tuition was cheap and the education was good. Blessed, you ask? Yes, to have parents who said the first 4 years were on them.  Cheap, you ask? $3,224 per year per the IUP 1996-1997 Undergraduate Catalogue. Today tuition is $6,240.

I'm not good with math or financial foresight, as you will find out through this post. But I know that is an increase over 15 years. Do I begrudge universities to increase their tuition to keep up with rising costs? Not at all as long as tuition is affordable. Not justified costs, but affordable. And I'm not talking affordable to the upper class; affordable for children of middle class parents who make just enough to not qualify for assistance, for children who have single parents striving to do all they can and make ends meet, affordable for those who live paycheck to paycheck. Most importantly, affordable in ways that do not require students to go into large amounts of debt for a "good" education.

Fast forward to myself deciding to go to grad school. I had to do a post baccalaureate year due to an undergrad that had nothing to do with ears or the sciences. Then I had to finish 4 years of full-time grad school. In a sense, that was not a choice. Our field had made the decision to phase out the Masters programs and created a clinical Doctorate. Could I have chosen to not pursue my dream and settled for a different related field? Sure, but settling has never been my strong suit. And, after all, I live in America where you can be whatever you want to be. I wish I had known the cost to be whatever I wanted to be. Would it have changed my mind? Nope. But maybe I would have done things differently.

I went to an in-state private university for my post-bac and graduate work. No, there was not a state school option. The school I chose allowed me to live at my childhood home for the first few years thus allowing me to be rent-free a little longer. Our class schedule was year round. So three semesters...at a total cost of $23,208 in 2005. Tuition for the current year? $30,432.  That's if I actually understood the rules of what a semester is plus per semester. Oh, and don't forget to factor in that there is no such thing as a full time job when you're in the science field and cannot work 40 hours around a class and clinic schedule. I was lucky and did have 2 different part time jobs over the course of my studies, but barely made enough to cover gas and parking.

Are you thinking "Get to the point!"? I will. The cost of tuition, books, what the universities look at as the total amount of money you may need to survive on for rent and, oh I don't know, maybe food? That all equals up to a six figure student loan debt for five years of graduate studies with interest. And there were still semesters that I was broke by the end and barely holding on until my next student loan refund check came through.

You read that debt statement correctly. Six figures. And with a co-signer they would have given me more....knowing what my general projected income was. Now you might be thinking, but surely if your field required a doctorate then your salary is commiserate. So this could just be a budget issue Miss Awn has. Um, I wish. Budgets are the least of my worries. No, our field's employers don't seem to see the necessity of matching pay to what we put into our education. This isn't a generation of audiologists being greedy (although I'm sure those people are out there) and this isn't to say that none of us are actually make pretty good money (because those people are also out there). But the vast majority are facing debilitating debt and the very difficult juggling act of paying a monthly student loan bill in the literal thousands along with rent, utilities, food and gas.

How does that happen? Tuition rates are skyrocketing. Your general american can no longer afford to send their children to college without loans being involved. Federal loans are the better choice over private loans, but are harder to procure overall. Not hard, but harder than private loans. Often whatever gap the federal loan leaves is being filled by private lenders. Private loans cannot be consolidated with federal loans, their rates are higher (depending upon circumstances), and they are not subject to the same payback plans as federal loans. Basically they have you by the nose and it hurts. A lot. Especially when you don't know these things until you're in hock without a lot of wiggle room.

With the amount I pay per month to be debt free in 25 years, I could be putting money back into an ailing economy. A house payment plus utilities. Credit cards paid off within a year (I don't use these at all, so this is not a source of on-going debt growth). A car with no car payment. A savings. Frivolous things like shopping for something other than groceries. Vacations. A weekend trip home to see my family instead of twice a year trips. Getting new running shoes before my feet and knees hurt. Clothes shopping....the last time I bought a pair of jeans was 2008.

I don't know your story or how student loans might affect you daily. But if you have them, finally someone out there is trying to do something about it and talking about the very real economic consequences of loans. Use the link below. Read up and please sign the petition if you agree with H.R. 1470's points and provisions. Pass it on to anyone else that you know that went to college or parents of teenagers who will be going to college. The chances that they did not have to/continue to have student debt/are informed of student loan minutia is slim. Start a conversation that could help someone else make smart decisions regarding college and the financial options for paying for an education.

http://signon.org/sign/support-the-student-loan?source=s.em.cr&r_by=3267730&mailing_id=2695

Change the World

This is a post written on the fly. Because what I have to say cannot wait.

Watch the video below. I don't care that it's 30 minutes long. I don't care that you have dishes to wash and laundry to do. If you think you can't spare it because you have kiddos, I beg you to watch this video. I promise it will be worth the short time that you need to watch it.

Read Kristen's post at A Little Something For Me. 

Read "Genocide and America" by Samantha Power.

Read "We Wish to Inform You That Tomorrow We Will Be Killed With Our Families" by Philip Gourevitch

All too often we look past those that need us as a country because it does not benefit us financially or in other foreign policy negotiations. It is despicable how easily others are overlooked because there is no worldly gain to be obtained. When did human life become synonymous with wealth? Worse yet, when did wealth and foreign policy begin to supersede our responsibility to get involved and fight for those with no voice?

Those who have no voice cannot fight back. They cannot gain the attention of those in power because they have no voice. 

Would you leave them voiceless?

Let's make Kony famous until there is no depraved, dark, small, evil corner of the world for him to hide in without being recognized.

Am I Enough

I'm starting to think I can totally get into this Pour Your Heart Out linky. There are so many things that roll around in my head that I am scared to put down on virtual paper. Not because they are, in actuality, something to be scared about but because they matter to me. I have never been one to put myself out there to be measured or judged by anyone. An example? I love to sing. LOVE to sing. But unless I'm on a stage and in character, I am terrified of singing in front of people and having them think "She thinks she can sing?"  Long story short, thanks Shell for creating a blog space that feels insulated from my fears.

One thing that I struggle with is that idea of being enough. Am I enough for DH? Can I meet all his needs and wants and expectations? Am I enough for myself? Can I do everything I want to do? Can I step past my own fears of inadequacy and find out what I am capable of? Am I enough of an employee? Do I do my job well? Do I slack when I could be productive? Am I attractive enough? Do I work hard enough at being the best me I can be physically? What exactly does it say about me that I ate an ENTIRE pan of rice krispie treats yesterday? Yep, an entire 9x13 pan. I hope that my ability to not eat like that every day is somewhat of a positive.

I think that in general I am enough. On a daily basis I don't worry about whether I'm doing everything I can be doing, but I just do it. I don't second guess DH's love for me or wonder if I fall short in his eyes. But I do think I can do better, be better, work harder. I'll just try to not question "Am I enough?"

Thanks Shell for letting me Pour My Heart Out on Wednesday!

I Get Mad

Now according to our 9th grade English teacher Mr. Burns, only dogs become mad. People become angry. But you know what, I get mad! I have been tossing this post around in my head for over a week now. I know that I have to be careful about how much detail I give when talking about anything work related. I don't want to end up in HIPPA jail!

So what is it that frustrates me? Parents. Yes, you parents frustrate me. Make me mad. Drive me to distraction. Cause me to want to pull my hair out. Don't get me wrong, I have a definite handful of parents who I adore and love and respect. Unfortunately the remainder of my parents need some help to get to where they need to be. And even that is ok. At least this second group want to get to a good place to advocate for their child and to complete all the thousands of tasks that they need to get done for their child to excel. But the third group is the group that I want to shake.

Honestly. Want to smack in the forehead like that old V8 commercial. Want to shut up long enough to hear what their child is saying, both out loud and in between the lines.

These are the parents who belittle their children, who don't see the importance of making sure their child wears their hearing aids no matter what, who try bribery and wheedling to get their child to be compliant, who take no responsibility for themselves, for the circumstances of their lives, or for the lack of follow-through with their child's medical care.

I cried last week because a teenage boy was open enough to tell me that he doesn't want to wear his hearing aids because of the girls. This kid is a big hulking football playing boy who is like every other teenager in that he doesn't want to be different. It breaks my heart that he wants to be accepted so badly...that's what high school is like for most people. I tried to be empathetic and rational, to tell him what I would tell any teenager....if someone doesn't like you because of a physical attribute or characteristic then they are not worth your time and heart. That high school sucks. But it's a short time of life and then it's done. That you don't have to let those few years determine whether you rise above or get stuck sinking.

This family, like many others, didn't listen to a word that their child said. It was an opportunity to reach out, to be empathetic to the child. Instead it got turned around to look at how that child upset me. Wow. Thankfully, this kiddo and I are on the same wave length and I truly believe he understands what I'm saying. Being a teenager, that doesn't mean that he believes that I know what I'm talking about but I don't doubt that he knows I truly want to help however I can in the role that I am in.

So, parents, I will not try to tell you which parenting theory to hold to. I don't have kids yet. But I will tell you this. Be the parent. Don't let your child run the appointment with me and then be upset that we didn't get any information. Don't belittle your child in front of me. Or when I am not there. Don't threaten your child with consequences that are either unsupported, cannot be enforced, or that involve me in any way. Finally, don't make your child feel worse than they already do by laughing at their responses or dismissing their fears and concerns as inconsequential.

Because children learn by example. Who do you want your child to emulate? Who do you want your child to be like when they are grown?

Thanks Shell for letting me pour my heart out for the first time...

Imperfection Personified

There are a lot of thoughts roiling in my mind right now. I've always had an idea of what I should look like, and let me tell you...I have never looked like my "vision". I know that my vision is unrealistic in every way.

My vision has been propelled by what the world has told me is attractive.
What the world tells me is acceptable.
What the world has told me is enough.

But what Genesis 1:27 tells me is that "So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them." So am I telling God that He's not beautiful? Am I really going to go there? Really? How conceited or small minded can I be? Why do I want to change who He has made me to be?

Because the world tells me that what He made is not good enough.

Let's put this in perspective. In the last 5 weeks I have ran 90 miles. And I have not lost a pound. When I use the BMI and body fat charts to see where I fall, they tell me I am overweight and obese, respectively. I would have to lose 40 pounds in order to have the body fat of a "fit" person. Seriously? Death would be the outcome of me losing 40 pounds. I would be skeletal, literal skin and bones. But if I subscribe to the formulas and equations that the world uses to measure my worth as a healthy being, I would have to strive for the unreachable.

What gets lost when focusing on the BMI and body fat charts is that I ran 90 miles in 5 weeks. My body is healthy and strong enough to run 90 miles. That is 18 miles a week....between a 1/2 marathon and a full marathon. Maybe this is one more race for me to run, outpacing my insecurities. Has He made me not good enough? He has given me a body that can move and run and play and work well. One of my favorite passages of scripture is Hebrews 12:1-2:

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, ² fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith."
Because in every aspect of faith and life we are faced with races that require perseverance and commitment. Whether it be completing a work project on time, getting out and literally running, making dinner when it feels overwhelming and pointless or finishing the laundry. Why should accepting ourselves be any easier? We are our own worst critics, the most heartless shame-filled wonky-eyed individuals. Kinda like we're all stuck in one of those Claritan clear commercials...you know, where they magically removed the filter that allergies give you and voila! We can all see clearly. Um...can I get one of those magic pills please? It'll make me accept myself, right?

I am imperfection personified. Imperfection that I am learning to love. Until then I will cling to His perfect image that He knows me to be, even when I can't see it myself.

Run Like the Wind...

Nah, that's not quite right. I think the line is "Sew like the wind, old one". I'll give a dollar to the first person who knows where that's from.

Anyway, tonight we may not have run like the wind...but we did run 9 miles. Hold the phone. NINE miles? Shut the front door. 9 miles. It's been a year and a half since we have run that far. Our mile time hovered between 10:30 and 11:00 for a total of 1:39. That's in hours and minutes, people. If you'd prefer, it's 99 minutes. We ran for over and hour and half.

It's just occurred to me that we may need professional help.

Celebrity Death Match: Katy Perry versus Tiffany

Can I just say I love Katy Perry's songs? Every single dang one (except the one with Kanye) makes me envision lollipops and jazz hands flying everywhere. But the real question is how does she measure up to the absolute icon of teenybopper pop...Tiffany. I mean, I know she didn't orginally do I Think We're Alone Now but she totally could've.

And for me, Tiffany would kick Katy's butt in a celebrity death match.  But I think it'd be close. Jazz hands can be considered weapons when used to their full advantage. DH has visibly flinched when I whip out the jazz hands while in confined spaces. I'm sure it's because he's scared of their implied skill and not because he's questioning my ratio of beauty:quirkiness.

I think I dated myself in this post. Are the cool kids still talking about Celebrity Death Match or is that like neo-cool? Or maybe it's hipster ironic? Which means tweens in skinny jeans with fashion glasses and beatnik scarves are discussing who would come out on top in very bored voices while sipping $10 half caff lates. Is anyone else scared, cause now I am.

Last night I had a nightmare about a man who tried to steal my wallet and stopped when I told him he looked like a girl. Tonight, I'm sure, will be filled with jazz hands and bored tweens.

Help.

If anyone needs to block this post out your consciousness, head over to Love From the Oven and enter to win enough Fall themed sugary goodness to keep you awake and nightmare free for the next month. While you're there, take the time to check out her amazing recipes and posts!

Why I Love Wednesday

Wednesdays are my favorite day - it's my day off every week! And I can tell you from experience that Wal-Mart on a Wednesday morning at 6:45 is as quiet as it's gonna get. I love being able to take my time and not be elbow to elbow with weekend shoppers.

Ashley and sweet Savannah came over to hang out for a bit after my run. Savannah is such a big girl now and so sweet! She loved playing with Roomie's Pup. And the Pup loved her. It's so nice to catch up with a good friend! Ashley was encouraging me to consider taking my sugar cookie skills into the business arena. Thoughts, anyone? I know I've asked this in the past, but I think about it more and more. The fact I had a dream that I was on Top Chef Just Desserts last week isn't helping things.

To help woo Fall along I pulled out the crock pot this morning and made some Fiesta Chicken and am working on a shredded pork made with rootbeer - thanks KW for the recipes! The chicken was so good made this way - usually when I try to make a shredded anything the meat is dry and tough - it was so juicy and tender! The best part of the recipe is that you can really make it however you like it. All the basic recipe includes is chicken breasts, a can of cream of chicken soup, a can each of black beans and corn drained, a cup of salsa and 2 tbsp of taco seasoning. You could totally start with chicken and soup as the base and put whatever floats your boat in there. I stuck it on high for 4 hours and it was amazing!  It makes a lot too, so come Friday night DH can choose whether he feels like some slightly spicy chicken or sweet and tangy BBQ. I like to have options for him! If you haven't checked out Crock Pot Girls, go browse their site for a while. The recipes are a little overwhelming since they all sound amazing, but I'll be trying them slowly over the next months.

Laundry is done and the dishes are clean. Maybe I'll take a nap....Man, I love Wednesdays.

A Year of Cookies

A little over one year ago I found a love. It's called "making sugar cookies" and I would quit work tomorrow to bake all day long if I could. Sorry, it's true. Well maybe I wouldn't quit flat out. I could become the baking audiologist - let me look in your ear and I'll give you a cookie. Not just any cookie but a beautiful handmade, i.e. slightly flawed, masterpiece.

There were Good Luck cookies

Then some 1st birthday classics

SEC football anyone?

Followed by Halloween sweets

Sweet Reagan's 2nd birthday

Some Christmas traditions never change even when the icing does

Super Bowl and a huge party with friends demanded edible football players

Sweet Valentine's Day with DH

St. Patty's Day requires shamrocks

Library Girl's bridal shower

Can you believe how far I've come in a year? This coming weekend is Little Monkey's 2nd birthday and the cookies will be very low key compared to other events, but I'm pretty sure they'll be really cute. A simple life preserver design - the un-iced cookies look like sad donuts, but I'm convinced that they will be Martha Stewart worthy in chicness and simplicity.

I've been struggling with whether I could actually turn this into a side business. So if y'all have any thoughts or ideas on that, please leave me a comment! I'm not sure if I can charge what I think I deserve because I'm not proven yet. There's a bakery in downtown Ft Worth of some renown who charge close to $3 a cookie. And personally I don't like their cookies enough to eat a whole one much less pay that amount. I feel like the dough is undercooked because of the thickness and the dough itself is sweet. The icing is slightly almond tasting which is never stated before you buy a cookie and it's very sweet. For me they just don't taste how I like a sugar cookie to taste. But the decorating is top notch. Even though I don't care for the cookie itself, I would pay the $3 for a well decorated cookie.

Consider this: to bake, ice and then detail roughly 100 middle to small sized cookies takes approximately 10 - 12 hours. The cost of basic supplies is not all that much (flour, sugar, butter, powdered sugar). The cost of speciality supplies depend on the cookie design (cookie cutter, icing colors, dusting powder, disco dust, sanding sugars and boxes/shipping supplies).

Would you pay $3 for a cookie? Do the math...that's $36 for a dozen. It sounds like a lot even to me, but maybe I need to adjust my mindset?

The Furnace

An update on the work-out front. There is this thing in the sky here. It's large. It's orange. It's yellow. It's hazy. It makes ice cream trucks melt. Eggs fry on the sidewalks. It's called the sun, specifically the Texas sun.
I worry for the landscapers. I worry about the sanity of watering lawns and golf courses at 1pm when the water evaporates before it can leave the sprinkler head.I worry that one idiot will throw a lit cigarette out their car window and burn the entire state down.

But mostly I hate it for how it impacts my work-out. A circuit that used to be a good run has turned into a marathon through Hades. Sweat drips in my eyes and nothing bums me out more than sweaty eyeballs. The Gatorade that I make sure to carry is the approximate temperature of a tepid bath halfway through the run/walk. It is impossible to run more than a quarter mile in this heat. It's still hovering around 100 degrees when we (a neighbor and I) head out in the evenings. I have a blister on the back of my right heel and that Asic feels loose so the blister won't go away. How is just ONE shoe loose? I should get at the very least another 100 miles out of them before having to crack open the wallet for a new pair.

On the plus side, I am managing to run at least quarter mile intervals in ridiculous heat. I will have a runner's tan, and possibly melanoma, by next week. I guess that's not really a plus, huh? There are spots of shade, which are lovely, but there are not nearly enough of them. I'm trying really hard to stick to the eating plan that DH helped me build, and overall I'm doing really great. I don't miss much except bread and cheese. I think I'm seeing small changes in how my clothes fit and the shape of my face, which help me stay on the plan. It can be hard though, since I lose weight top down...I've always been able to see my cheekbones and ribs, can we move this loss thing a little lower please?

Tonight I will dream about snow and crisp cold air and numb finger tips and chapped lips and knitted hats and running miles and miles without missing a beat. Well, that or I'll be in the Sahara with one loose Asic and warm Gatorade.

Glee on Acid

I had a dream last night that involved the whole Glee cast. I don't remember much of it apart from Artie shooting up, Rachel crying and there was a dwarf involved. Maybe they're all disillusioned due to the popularity of the show?

I blame it on the double dose of allergy medicine combined with sun exposure.

Somebody help me. Thanks in advance.