12 Insights into My Soul

Ok, so maybe that's not quite the line from You've Got Mail, but it sort of fits. There's been this game going around Facebook where friends give you a number and you have to post a list with that number of items people may not know about you. (I recognize the ridiculous length and roundaboutness of that sentence.) I have been so busy (no, not lazy) this week that this fad may already be over and I'm just getting on board.

A friend gave me the number 12. So here are 12 things you may or may not already know about me!

1. I Have a Fear of Closets
When I was a younger there was a live action Alice in Wonderland movie that was on TV. The Jabberwocky scared the underpants off of me. I became convinced that the Jabberwocky lived in my closet. To this day I cannot sleep if there is a closet door ajar in the same room with me. Let's take the crazy one step further. When I stay somewhere other than my own house I have to check the closet in whatever bedroom I sleep in. Ingrained weirdness.

2. I Had a Blankie
I was a blankie lover. I could have given Linus a run for his money if he weren't a fictional cartoon character. I would stand under the clothes line, sucking my thumb, while hanging on to one corner of it while it dried from washing.

3. Do Re Mi
I took private voice lessons for 7 years. For the majority of that time I had a voice teacher who terrified me into practicing every day. Which made me a much better singer. I wanted to be an actress when I was younger. I loved being on stage becoming another character. I loved singing through a show. I still love to sing. I just do it in the car or around the house instead of on stage. When DH is out of the house I'll hook up the computer to the TV, turn it all the way up and sing my heart out along with any musical soundtrack or some Sutton Foster.

4. Beets Taste Purple
They just do and I can't stomach that. Purple, people, purple. One of the few foods I cannot stand.

5. I Take My TV Seriously
When the Bestie and I lived together the very first year in Da Burgh, she had never watched Grey's Anatomy regularly. I adored that show. I never missed an episode, even if I had to record it on VHS. Yes, you read that right. VHS. One night after a day of clinic and class we were eating dinner and sitting on the couch. Every couple seconds she would ask another question. I calmly waited until a commercial, turned to her, picked up my fork and said "If you say one more word during this episode I will stab you with this fork." She took it pretty well considering I had just threatened physical violence over Mer and McDreamy.

6. Go Away Bing Crosby
I really really REALLY can't stand Christmas music until a couple weeks prior to Christmas. I feel this is a safe place that I can share this.

7. Hollywood Ain't Got Nothing On Me
My imagination is incredibly overactive. I can watch movies that cover any subject...as long as it would stay daylight forever. Maybe that's another reason to consider emmigrating to Scotland. It stays light outside for a looong time part of the year. Once the lights go out, I start to think of all the weird messed up things that happen in movies and then I'm too terrified to move. I have restrained myself from waking DH up and making him stay up with me up to this point, but it's probably not far off. I just try to avoid all horror and scary sci-fi movies.

8. Is Mom In the Room?
I am becoming more and more like my mom in weird ways. Like when I talk and cry at the same time, I sound just like her. I say things that she's always said them. Things slip out and I think "Oh goodness, there's mom." It's not bad, just a weird transition as I'm growing older.

9. Get In Ma Belly!
I can eat. A lot. Like, a lot a lot. I had to prove to DH that I wasn't all talk. He was duly impressed. I think it's because I'm a fairly small girl. Except for that booty. But otherwise I'm pretty petite. So when I say things like I can put away an entire large pizza in one sitting, or a half dozen donuts, or a whole batch of rice krispie treats in one work day, I have to prove that my stomach is as big as my mouth. Which in turn leads to that booty.

10. Dream On
I don't know if this is common, but I dream in all five senses. I also remember a lot of my dreams, dream almost every night, and I have recurring dreams since childhood that I can recognize while in the dream. I've heard and read different things about dreaming in all five senses. So I don't know if this is odd or not. I will say it's an odd feeling to be dreaming and find myself thinking "Oh, this frog guy again. Ok, so this will happen next. And then this. And here comes the flipping land rover right on cue." Maybe I'm in a real world Inception?

11.  Curse You, Pie Crust!
I am a pretty stellar baker. However I do have an arch nemesis. Her name is Pie Crust. Only a woman could be this cruel, hence Pie Crust is a she. I can get a good batch of pie crust maybe 10% of the time. Even the No Fail recipes fail me. Seriously?!?!? I was given a special pie fork by my original MAPC (Masters Against Pie Crust) which has proven ineffective. Pie Crust, you are my Kryptonite.

12. I Love Trashy TV
I will turn on Bravo or TLC on my day off and leave it on all day. It's a sickness.

Foot In Mouth

I am convinced that I have Foot in Mouth disease, y'all. No, not Foot and Mouth disease. Not Fifth's disease. Foot in Mouth disease. It's not a dominant gene, but recessive - it only expresses 25% of the time. And I can't control it. I don't know if others are aware of it regularly. Well, except Runner Girl who I one day at work managed to call unattractive approximately 3 times. It was a Foot in Mouth kind of day.

I constantly worry about offending someone in the same space as me inadvertently. Kind of like the postcard below (courtesy of Google).


And what happens then is that I am uncomfortable. I become physically uncomfortable. I think my Foot in Mouth comes from growing up in a fairly rural fairly white small town. I hope I am clear about this point: I am comfortable around people of all races/backgrounds/ethnicity/sizes/socioeconomic status. I was not raised to elevate myself or believe that I am better than any other human being on this earth.

But put me in a room with any person who is not like those I grew up with and I become convinced that the second I open my mouth, I will offend the other person. And then I truly think I come off as being that stereotypical white girl who is only being polite or thinks she's better than everyone. Which kills me, because that's not who I am.

I find the ways other people grew up to be fascinating. I want to ask questions and see where they came from, what they think about the same things I think about. Both superficial and deep questions. But my Foot in Mouth is always lurking in the back of my mind. It's been a rough couple years living in the Deep South and trying to not offend any of the Hispanic/Mexican/Latino women that I work with...whom I adore. They have taught me so much about how the innocuous words in Italian are the equivalent of a potty mouth in Spanish. My very last intention would be to ever offend those beautiful women.

I wish I could be more like the majority of women I work with, who appear to be comfortable no matter who they are talking to. I don't know if they all harbor the same fear that I have or if there is something different in their outlook that I need to learn.

Until I figure it out, I think I'll try to keep my Foot in Mouth in check.

Thanks Shell, as always, for letting me Pour My Heart Out