I Get Mad

Now according to our 9th grade English teacher Mr. Burns, only dogs become mad. People become angry. But you know what, I get mad! I have been tossing this post around in my head for over a week now. I know that I have to be careful about how much detail I give when talking about anything work related. I don't want to end up in HIPPA jail!

So what is it that frustrates me? Parents. Yes, you parents frustrate me. Make me mad. Drive me to distraction. Cause me to want to pull my hair out. Don't get me wrong, I have a definite handful of parents who I adore and love and respect. Unfortunately the remainder of my parents need some help to get to where they need to be. And even that is ok. At least this second group want to get to a good place to advocate for their child and to complete all the thousands of tasks that they need to get done for their child to excel. But the third group is the group that I want to shake.

Honestly. Want to smack in the forehead like that old V8 commercial. Want to shut up long enough to hear what their child is saying, both out loud and in between the lines.

These are the parents who belittle their children, who don't see the importance of making sure their child wears their hearing aids no matter what, who try bribery and wheedling to get their child to be compliant, who take no responsibility for themselves, for the circumstances of their lives, or for the lack of follow-through with their child's medical care.

I cried last week because a teenage boy was open enough to tell me that he doesn't want to wear his hearing aids because of the girls. This kid is a big hulking football playing boy who is like every other teenager in that he doesn't want to be different. It breaks my heart that he wants to be accepted so badly...that's what high school is like for most people. I tried to be empathetic and rational, to tell him what I would tell any teenager....if someone doesn't like you because of a physical attribute or characteristic then they are not worth your time and heart. That high school sucks. But it's a short time of life and then it's done. That you don't have to let those few years determine whether you rise above or get stuck sinking.

This family, like many others, didn't listen to a word that their child said. It was an opportunity to reach out, to be empathetic to the child. Instead it got turned around to look at how that child upset me. Wow. Thankfully, this kiddo and I are on the same wave length and I truly believe he understands what I'm saying. Being a teenager, that doesn't mean that he believes that I know what I'm talking about but I don't doubt that he knows I truly want to help however I can in the role that I am in.

So, parents, I will not try to tell you which parenting theory to hold to. I don't have kids yet. But I will tell you this. Be the parent. Don't let your child run the appointment with me and then be upset that we didn't get any information. Don't belittle your child in front of me. Or when I am not there. Don't threaten your child with consequences that are either unsupported, cannot be enforced, or that involve me in any way. Finally, don't make your child feel worse than they already do by laughing at their responses or dismissing their fears and concerns as inconsequential.

Because children learn by example. Who do you want your child to emulate? Who do you want your child to be like when they are grown?

Thanks Shell for letting me pour my heart out for the first time...