New Year's Resolutions

Personally, I'm not a fan of New Year's resolutions. It sets me up for failure. I tend to hold myself to unattainable standards. Even when I'm doing all that I can at a given time, I still think I should have done more or be doing more. So this year my "resolutions" are more suggestions than anything else. The strictures are loose and free. 

1. To blog more. Well, considering the paucity of the blog posts in the last year or two this will not be hard to achieve. But I do find it soothing to write and get stuff out. So there should be more activity on here than there has been.

2. To work out consistently. I refuse to put a number on this. I get very numbers-obsessed. I don't count calories for the same reason. It becomes a competition with myself to not exceed or to over-do depending on the activity. 

3. To do one thing each week that brings me joy. Sing along in the car, bake something I want to make for no reason, spend time with friends, eat a really great cupcake. I'm not sure what all will fall into this category but I'm going to find out.

4. To continue to heal and grieve and move forward from our infertility process. 

I also believe I would be remiss if I didn't include Henry and Evie's resolutions. If I am correct those would include the following:

1. Convincing E and I that they should be fed multiple times a day.

2. More cat toys, please. Amazon has plenty that they would like to try and then discard after 30 seconds.

3. Teach E and I to understand what they say. 

4. Sleep more. I personally don't think it's possible, but hey, at least they have goals.

Apparently I've Been Gone

I realized today that most of the blogs that I was following have either been on hiatus, like mine, or no longer exist. So....where does a girl go to find some inspiration? I have loved using list posts in the past, and even better if they are one where you can post your blog and get some feedback, new readers and internet love! But I am up a creek at the moment. Thus, you see before you my own listing blog post. Surely there is a more convenient name than "listing blog post"? Oh wait, Google just informed me that they're called "listicles". Cool.

                                  Things I'd Like To Change 

1. Evie's insistence that she will absolutely positively starve to death before 9pm. This is conveyed by yowls, meows, groveling and generally being pathetic. She weighs 13 pounds, you guys. She's not starving. And there is almost always food still left in their bowls by feeding time.

2. My left arm strength. Kickboxing shows you where you're strong...and where you're weak. My left arm is a joke. If I ever get into a fight with one hand tied behind my back, it'd better be my left hand that's tied. I've been going to 9Round for about 2 months now and I have a mean right hammer fist. My core is stronger than it's ever been and I'm starting to see some ab definition. My legs, while not my favorite part of my body, have always been a powerhouse and have seen me many many miles. But that dang left arm. I'd be better off in a slap fight than a fist fight.

(http://www.popsugar.com/entertainment/photo-gallery/34596251/image/34597139/He-also-best-physical-comedy-like-slap-fight-Jess) P.S. if this works then I'll be shocked.

3. My annoyance at drivers who don't use turn signals, use them but merge regardless of whether there is room, or simply are more absorbed in their phones than in the 3 ton (I really don't have a clue how much cars weigh) piece of metal they're haphazardly steering down the street. Even though my annoyance might be warranted it doesn't make it worth the rise in my blood pressure.

4. I'm a little bit extroverted. Just a wee, wee, infinitesimal bit. I wish I could hold that back a bit in the morning at work. I don't think everyone else is as much a morning person or an extrovert. But every morning I take my coffee and want to chat. Awn, just go sit down! Sheesh. If I were them I'd probably throw coffee on me. Sorry girls!

5. I really truly wouldn't read as fast as I do. I miss a lot of details and when I go back and reread the book again I am amazed at what I missed. The plus of this is that I love to go back and read books again. I've read series four or five times and will read them again. But I think I might miss out on some of that initial wonder that comes with reading a book for the first time.

6. I love sleep. I mean, I wouldn't change the fact that I enjoy sleep. But it would be nice to be more of a night owl and an early bird. Can you be both? 

This is the inauspicious start of a blogging comeback. Can I say that if it's my blog? Just call me the Comeback Kid (that's not trademarked, is it?)

12 Insights into My Soul

Ok, so maybe that's not quite the line from You've Got Mail, but it sort of fits. There's been this game going around Facebook where friends give you a number and you have to post a list with that number of items people may not know about you. (I recognize the ridiculous length and roundaboutness of that sentence.) I have been so busy (no, not lazy) this week that this fad may already be over and I'm just getting on board.

A friend gave me the number 12. So here are 12 things you may or may not already know about me!

1. I Have a Fear of Closets
When I was a younger there was a live action Alice in Wonderland movie that was on TV. The Jabberwocky scared the underpants off of me. I became convinced that the Jabberwocky lived in my closet. To this day I cannot sleep if there is a closet door ajar in the same room with me. Let's take the crazy one step further. When I stay somewhere other than my own house I have to check the closet in whatever bedroom I sleep in. Ingrained weirdness.

2. I Had a Blankie
I was a blankie lover. I could have given Linus a run for his money if he weren't a fictional cartoon character. I would stand under the clothes line, sucking my thumb, while hanging on to one corner of it while it dried from washing.

3. Do Re Mi
I took private voice lessons for 7 years. For the majority of that time I had a voice teacher who terrified me into practicing every day. Which made me a much better singer. I wanted to be an actress when I was younger. I loved being on stage becoming another character. I loved singing through a show. I still love to sing. I just do it in the car or around the house instead of on stage. When DH is out of the house I'll hook up the computer to the TV, turn it all the way up and sing my heart out along with any musical soundtrack or some Sutton Foster.

4. Beets Taste Purple
They just do and I can't stomach that. Purple, people, purple. One of the few foods I cannot stand.

5. I Take My TV Seriously
When the Bestie and I lived together the very first year in Da Burgh, she had never watched Grey's Anatomy regularly. I adored that show. I never missed an episode, even if I had to record it on VHS. Yes, you read that right. VHS. One night after a day of clinic and class we were eating dinner and sitting on the couch. Every couple seconds she would ask another question. I calmly waited until a commercial, turned to her, picked up my fork and said "If you say one more word during this episode I will stab you with this fork." She took it pretty well considering I had just threatened physical violence over Mer and McDreamy.

6. Go Away Bing Crosby
I really really REALLY can't stand Christmas music until a couple weeks prior to Christmas. I feel this is a safe place that I can share this.

7. Hollywood Ain't Got Nothing On Me
My imagination is incredibly overactive. I can watch movies that cover any subject...as long as it would stay daylight forever. Maybe that's another reason to consider emmigrating to Scotland. It stays light outside for a looong time part of the year. Once the lights go out, I start to think of all the weird messed up things that happen in movies and then I'm too terrified to move. I have restrained myself from waking DH up and making him stay up with me up to this point, but it's probably not far off. I just try to avoid all horror and scary sci-fi movies.

8. Is Mom In the Room?
I am becoming more and more like my mom in weird ways. Like when I talk and cry at the same time, I sound just like her. I say things that she's always said them. Things slip out and I think "Oh goodness, there's mom." It's not bad, just a weird transition as I'm growing older.

9. Get In Ma Belly!
I can eat. A lot. Like, a lot a lot. I had to prove to DH that I wasn't all talk. He was duly impressed. I think it's because I'm a fairly small girl. Except for that booty. But otherwise I'm pretty petite. So when I say things like I can put away an entire large pizza in one sitting, or a half dozen donuts, or a whole batch of rice krispie treats in one work day, I have to prove that my stomach is as big as my mouth. Which in turn leads to that booty.

10. Dream On
I don't know if this is common, but I dream in all five senses. I also remember a lot of my dreams, dream almost every night, and I have recurring dreams since childhood that I can recognize while in the dream. I've heard and read different things about dreaming in all five senses. So I don't know if this is odd or not. I will say it's an odd feeling to be dreaming and find myself thinking "Oh, this frog guy again. Ok, so this will happen next. And then this. And here comes the flipping land rover right on cue." Maybe I'm in a real world Inception?

11.  Curse You, Pie Crust!
I am a pretty stellar baker. However I do have an arch nemesis. Her name is Pie Crust. Only a woman could be this cruel, hence Pie Crust is a she. I can get a good batch of pie crust maybe 10% of the time. Even the No Fail recipes fail me. Seriously?!?!? I was given a special pie fork by my original MAPC (Masters Against Pie Crust) which has proven ineffective. Pie Crust, you are my Kryptonite.

12. I Love Trashy TV
I will turn on Bravo or TLC on my day off and leave it on all day. It's a sickness.

10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1

Erin at Shades of Gray and a Pinch of Pink inspired me today! I love a good list post and her's was easy and fun. It's almost reminicent of those notes that would go around Myspace and Facebook...you know, 26 things you don't know about me, or the ones that gave you a choice between two items/ideas/movies/etc.

10 of My Favorite Foods
Cheese and pepperoni - this was a staple at get togethers when I was growing up. I totally associate this combo with family
Homemade macaroni and cheese
Mint brownies - heaven in my mouth
Sonic diet limeade with pineapple - sometimes I add cherry and it tastes like fruit punch
Dark beer - nothing lighter than an ale...lager, brown, stout, porter. BJ's blonde and Leffe blonde are the only exceptions
Mashed potatoes - either lumpy or whipped!
Roast chicken
Rice Krispy Treats - DH made me a pan of rice krispy treats for Valentine's Day last year. I ate the entire pan over the course of 8 hours at work. The. Entire. Pan.
Chocolate covered coconut anything
Pumpkin pie - I've asked for it as a birthday "cake" before

9 of My Favorite Movies
Sleepless in Seattle
Romeo and Juliet - Baz Luhrman's version
The House Bunny - DH loves this one too which means we can watch it twice as much
The Life of David Gale - as if Laura Linney wasn't enough, there's also Kate Winslet
The Hudsucker Proxy
Looper
Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves with Kevin Costner
Singin' In the Rain
13 Going On 30 - I have a soft spot for Jennifer Garner and this movie makes me feel like my whole life is still ahead of me and I can accomplish anything I set my mind upon

8 Celebrities I Would Like to Marry (Sorry DH!)
Jeremy Piven - I don't know why
Joseph Gordon-Levitt
Tom Hardy - c'mon, don't pretend you wouldn't want to marry him!
Paul Newman - 40 years younger
Hugh Jackman
Ryan Reynolds - but only if he's ever daft enough to leave Blake Lively
Brendan Fraser
Neil Patrick Harris - we could sing and dance all over the place

7 Things I Love Right Now
My day off
Henry - he's asleep and not destroying toilet paper or slamming doors. He's a cat, not a three year old.
My shoes for the wedding
Grocery shopping with DH. Seriously.
Planning for the Super Bowl party next weekend! Rather, planning for the food that will be eaten.
Not having a race to prepare for right now.
Fantasizing about our Scotland honeymoon!

6 Places I Want to Visit Someday
Tuscany and the original village of the family
Spain - they make such good wine there!
Ireland
The Maldives - I can't swim and I'm terrified of being surrounded by water, but this place is gorgeous
Alaska
Whistler, British Columbia

5 Games I Played as a Child
Contra on Nintendo -it was the only video game I ever won. In fact, when DH and I play Lego Star Wars I run against the wall the whole time while I think I'm his character beating everybody.
Hungry Hippos
Fashion Plates
Shrinky Dinks Rainbow Brite and Strawberry Shortcake
Mall Madness - my first lesson in credit card debt and what those little cards could buy a girl!

4 Things I Never Want to See Again
Casey Anthony on TV. She's not worth the time it takes to listen to the story much less actually read media on her.
Either of my brothers crying from grief. Crying because I've done something spectacular, sure!
Myself when I weighed my heaviest and was out of shape. I am 2 sizes smaller today even though my weight is close to the heaviest point in pounds. Thank heavens for running and weight lifting!
Jersey Shore - the Mtv show, not the actual Jersey Shore

3 Things I Want to Do This Year
Learn to swim
Explore Boston for a day with DH
Meet DH's New York family

2 Facts About Me
I really wanted to buy a zipline package for myself when I bought DH's at Christmas. But I'm terrified of heights.
I once gave my younger brother a black eye with a baseball bat. Totally by accident.

1 Meaning Behind My Blog Name
I am imperfection personified. And I'm ok with that. I will never be perfect while I am in this world. I can work at being better, but perfection cannot be attained.

10 Things About Weddings

Today's Listicle from Stasha is particularly fitting. It's 10 Things About Weddings. And I'm in the middle of planning a wedding with DH and our families and friends. You know that's how it goes. It's not just us planning, it's everybody planning. 

I've also been in numerous weddings over the years...nothing approaching 27 Dresses, but still a commendable handful. So the list below is cumulative from all the years of experience plus our current journey.


1. There is nothing as motivating as when the bridal salon calls and tells you that THE DRESS is in. It becomes very real that you are getting married in that moment. Enjoy that excitement!

2. Weddings are emotional events. Someone will be P.O.'ed at you at some point....maybe at all points. Just expect it, try to not hurt feelings and move past it.

3. Centerpieces can either be the easiest creation or the most time consuming. Buy one of everything to make a sample centerpiece to make sure you like it before buying 20 of everything! 

4. Be kind to your bridesmaids. By this I mean no ugly dresses, no bows on the butts, don't ask them to do more than you would be willing to do. Does it really matter if they all have the same hair style or the same shoes? They want to be part of your day. Don't make it hard for them to support you.

5. Don't have little tiny bows on anything unless they come that way from the store. Trust me on this one. Tying 94,376, 897 bows gets real old real fast.

6. Remember to focus on you and your fiancee. This day is just that, a day. A huge special day, but it shouldn't be the reason to get married. The marriage is what you're committing to, not the wedding. Nourish it, grow it, protect it.

7. Ladies, don't assume your groom doesn't want to have a say. Maybe he does, maybe he doesn't. But at least give him the chance to have input.

8. If someone else is footing the bill, thank them often and wholeheartedly. Make sure they know you are overwhelmed with gratitude.

9. Don't be scared to do something that is unique. There are no rules - if you want to wear Vans under your dress, ride a bicycle down the aisle, have cookies instead of a cake, an unconventional guest book, be announced to an autotune of Kristen Bell, whatever it is that makes you happy.

10. Have your photographer capture all those first looks - not just the groom's when you appear, but also your dad's, the guests, grandparents. Those are the pictures that could last a lifetime.

There's a huge well of advice and things to do and to avoid but this is just some of what I've learned over time.

I'm Thankful

So the fantastic Stasha is once again giving me something to think about with her Monday Listicle. This week it's thanks. Wow. It's so easy for us to forget what we can have to be thankful for and focus on the what isn't working for us.

10 Things to Be Thankful For

1. Sculpt class this morning at the gym. People, there was grunting, heavy breathing, sweating, and almost tears. I yawned at one point to try and pop my ear and the instructor caught me. That earned us some extra bicep work. Sorry classmates!!!! Seriously, after Zumba last week I was thinking group classes were not for me. But these women were encouraging, all sizes, laughed and got after it. I can totally do this type of class! As for how hard I worked, it's a little uncomfortable just to type and when I talked to DH earlier, it hurt to hold my cell phone by my ear.

2. DH. I am so thankful that God brought my perfect mate to me in His perfect timing. I had a mini-meltdown yesterday and DH wasn't sure what to do with me, but he knew to ask me what I needed and to reassure me when I confessed some of my fears to him. How amazing is it that I am marrying a man who makes me feel complete, even in the face of my insecurities.

3. Fresh basil and tomatoes on pizza. I made one for lunch and it pretty much rocked my face off. The only way it would have been better was if I had the time and knowledge to make my own crust.

4. My mom who will tell me what I need to hear, not what I want to hear. I called her last night very frustrated about something and she let me vent, let me tell her my thoughts, and while she was sympathetic, there was a mom instinct that kicked in. She told me what she honestly believed was in my best interests both short and long term. She was loving but not condescending. She was honest and didn't talk around the issue so that my feelings were not hurt. I'm so thankful for her.

5. I'm very thankful that even though I forgot to add water to the stuffed peppers, I think I'll still be able to eat them. Just saying.

6. Henry. I love him. This is him in his new crinkle toy. Puppy doesn't know what to do with this.

7. Ross Dress For Less, I am eternally grateful for you keeping me elegant for very little moola. And my SIL for loaning me the killer earrings that were perfect. I'm a little less thankful for the new wedges that were pretty comfortable and then weren't.

8. Cheap nail polish. Wet n wild megalast is pretty amazing for only a couple bucks. I love me some OPI, but at almost $10 a bottle, I generally don't splurge on it for myself.

9. Money in the bank. I know that might seem like a silly thing to be thankful for, but when you go from not knowing how you'll make ends meet every month to being blessed with enough and then even a little extra, dang. That is something I try to thank God for every day. That I don't have to choose which bills to pay or to choose between electricity or food.

10. Lists, links and blog friends who keep me writing, expand my ideas of what my blog can be and how real I can be online. Thanks to many of you.

A Little Listicle Anyone?

So I'm finding that in this time of running hither and yon that the list and link type of posts are most likely to get me writing! Today I'm linking up with Stasha and Monday Listicles! Please use the link and check her out! I couldn't get the image thingamajig to copy.

10 Questions:

1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23 and find line 4. What is it?

"...bread I've ever tasted but also a jar of bread "starter" for me to keep..."


2. How many times a day do you say Hi?
Well that depends on how many patients I see and how many people are with each kiddo. So a lot would be a fair assessment.

3. Have you ever worn a uniform?
When I worked in fast food, yes. Can't you picture me rocking the Arby's and Wendy's look? But never for school.

4. What do you think about the most?
Oh definitely food! What I'm going to eat, how bad it is for me, how long I'd need to work out to burn it off, if I'll feel guilty about it after and finally whether or not I'll eat it. An example? I read about McDonald's today in a book and now I'm really super craving it. But I know that physically I'll feel really crappy if I eat it. I wouldn't actually feel guilty since I worked out today. But the physical discomfort afterward is what led me to decide to bypass it and instead I'll have some tilapia and sweet potatoes. Not nearly as satisfying when I'm craving a cheeseburger, but hey, it's what I have.

I really wish my answer had been where God is taking me, what I need to do next for the wedding, how I can better serve my patients, friends, family. But food it is.

5. How many keys are on your key ring?
Five. One for my bedroom, one for the garage door, one for DH's house and one for my parents house. And a car key. And my gym pass.

6. What was the last thing you bought?
A boatload of groceries at Wal-Mart this morning.

7. Are you growing anything these days?
Weeds in the back yard, that's about it.

8. What is under your bed?
Those vaccum bags for moving clothes, a gift box and assorted cat toys. It's Henry's favorite spot to hide his velcro rings.

9. What is most important in life?
Moving forward in God's plan for me. What His desires are, are my desires. Everything else falls into place then.

And coffee in the morning.

10. What is the strangest word you used this week?
Bickerment. DH's version of an argument combined with bickering. We rarely have bickerments, thank heavens.

Tidbits

I have bronchitis again. I blame it on boot camp. Last Thursday I was the first one to complete my sets and my runs. I just had a ton of energy. Apparently I pushed toooooo hard. I started coughing later that day and ended up at Occ Health today.

The kitten has found the dog's chewie and is proceeding to play with it as his own personal form of entertainment. They are getting along very well - there is much running, playful gnawing, butt sniffing...you know, the usual.

The parents are headed my way in a few days!!! I haven't seen them since December, so I can't wait to show them the Texas I now know. That Texas will involve wedding dresses this visit....will I find the one? Who knows!

DH and I spent the weekend curled up watching movies and intermittently doing bushels of laundry, mainly his. He introduced me to Up, I introduced him to How to Train Your Dragon, we watched This Is War, The Hudsucker Proxy, Forgetting Sarah Marshall and half of The Grey.

Just a few tidbits...now I have the 4th Outlander book to go finish.

A Listicle

I've been looking for the perfect Listicle to get into for a while. I love the ideas of lists for blog posts because you have a guide. Otherwise I kind of roam from thought to thought and it doesn't feel very coherent at all.

This Listicle is perfect because hindsight is 20/20, right?  Courtesy of the Good Life, here are 10 Things A Husband Should Do. I'm hoping to come back to this topic post-nuptials and see how off base I am!

1. Support Me When I Am Justified
Occasionally....well, a lot.....I voice my opinion on matters at hand. Sometimes they're not necessarily matters at my hand, but that generally doesn't stop me from adding in my 25 cents. It's never 2 cents. I hope that DH will support me when I am justified in my opinion and not play devil's advocate without cause and without warning.

2. Reel Me Back Into Reality When I've Lost My Everlovin' Commonsense
Just as I hope he will continue to support me, I pray that he will proverbially bring me back to earth when needed. Sometimes I get really worked up and need him to say "Babe, calm down. It's not that important." Because a lot of the time, it's not that important and I'm really upset because my pride is hurt. It's not his job to support me at all costs when I'm clearly way off point.

3. Keep An Emergency Hangry Stash
I saw this on Pinterest, and it is so freakin' appropriate it's ridiculous. Many, MANY people in my life will tell you hangry is real and I can be the epitome of it.

DH has learned to roll with the punches regarding my hangriness. I'm pretty good about being able to say "If I don't get something to eat soon I will be pretty cranky". The best part is that he can anticipate it sometimes and will grab me a drink or a snack before I even know I need one. I heart him so much for that. Although I know it's also about his self-preservation...don't poke me when I'm hangry.

4. Continue To Be Sweet To All Living Things
Because if I see the bug, he's getting squished. DH on the other hand will find whatever he needs to get the bugs outside and alive. He stops traffic to rescue birds in the street and seems supremely disappointed when I stomp on the spider instead of inquiring about where it would like to live out the rest of it's days. I'm gonna need someone to teach the future Wee Ones that they don't have to kill the bugs and how to rescue the hurt animals.

5. Take Out The Trash
When I was in high school I worked in a small corner store. It was part of the job to change the garbage cans and take the bags to the dumpsters. I cannot tell you how many times I stuck my hand into something gross when changing the bags. I will gladly regulate the garbage chore to DH come next April.

6. Tell Me How Beautiful I Am To Him
I don't care if anyone else thinks I'm beautiful or caring or sweet. I only care that he sees me more clearly than I see myself and he tells me what he sees on a daily basis, as he does now. Wow, that sounds stuck up....I mean that it's important to tell each other what we mean to one another. DH does an amazing job of trying to open my eyes to my true worth and beauty as he sees me. I have a hard time looking at myself and seeing the good instead of all the human flaws that are co-existing. I pray I can do the same for him.

7. Wash The Cars
He's not about to let me get near his car - a nifty little beamer - so this automatically falls into his category. What the heck is a clay bar? Clearly I should not be allowed to clean automobiles.

8. Cook Dinner On A Regular Basis
DH loves to cook. I am very lucky. I also love to cook. DH is very lucky. And it's not just man food that he cooks. He likes to cook together and try new recipes. This is a godsend to both of us since he works until 5 and I work until 6. If he never cooked/didn't know how to cook/expected me to cook then we'd never eat sooner than 7 or 7:30.

9. Sharing Vacuum Duty
We plan on having a dog and two cats. That all equals a lot of hair. I do not want to walk out of the house in the morning with pet hair on me. I also don't want people to visit and wonder if they will leave covered in hair. So vacuuming will need to happen on a pretty regular basis.

10. Take Time For Himself
DH loves to play video games. He doesn't do it every night or for hours on end usually. It's important for him to have time to do what he loves without feeling like I'm hovering and waiting for him to be "productive". We all need time to recharge and take time to do the things we love without our spouse. If it's something they enjoy too, then that's even better. But it doesn't have to be.

Whew....this Listicle thing is more difficult that I thought! I hope y'all have fun snickering at your computer screens and thinking "She's so sweet. Bless her heart. Just wait until they get married." Find a Listicle and join in the fun!