A Sailing We Will Go

There once was a boy named Joseph who was so cute that he just had to have cookies made for him. As his second birthday approached, there appeared a Captain's hat and striped invitations to go sailing with him.

But before the celebration could be had, there was baking to be done!

That fancy pants mixer came in very handy. Royal icing appeared as though out of thin air. The fondant, on the other hand, almost blew the motor to smithereens.

Life preserver cookies were requested as there would be so much laughing and happiness we would be in danger of floating away!

A very happy Captain greeted me with a request for a "red cookie" when I arrived bearing the fruits of my labor.

No sailing party is complete without a boat cake...yummy fudge icing!

But even more important than the cake or cookies are the presents! The Captain definitely needed the car he was given by friends. After all, he can't spend all his time on the boat...here he is waiting on Aunt Mean to get it unleashed from it's packing.

But once that super boy approved remote control car was free to zip, zip it did.

In the meantime the sweet First Mates helped Mama unwrap and clean up.

I'm relieved the Life Preservers were given the seal of approval - the Captain ate one before the party and started two more throughout the party - or else I would be stuck swabbing the decks.

Closets of the Heart

Have you ever thought you'd bested some of your greatest fears or weaknesses or flaws or hurts only to have them jump out of a closet at you? Um, figuratively, people. In case you know my fear of closets...the Jabberwocky didn't jump out and grab me last night. Breath easy.

I'm starting to realize that those fears or hurts don't ever leave totally. If you've read this post you know that I believe that we're changed by our experiences. However, changed does not equal being forever damaged. We still have the ability and wherewithal to choose to be different and not be defined by what others have done to us. Even when those actions have directed our steps. It has to be a conscious decision to take the experience and use it for what we need, though.

It's not always easy to do, recognize truth in the face of so many lies and twisted words that we tell ourselves. I had to remember this recently and slam that closet door shut again. I gain strength every time I need to heft myself against that door and it's still rusty hinges. Now if I could only find some proverbial WD-40...

A Year of Cookies

A little over one year ago I found a love. It's called "making sugar cookies" and I would quit work tomorrow to bake all day long if I could. Sorry, it's true. Well maybe I wouldn't quit flat out. I could become the baking audiologist - let me look in your ear and I'll give you a cookie. Not just any cookie but a beautiful handmade, i.e. slightly flawed, masterpiece.

There were Good Luck cookies

Then some 1st birthday classics

SEC football anyone?

Followed by Halloween sweets

Sweet Reagan's 2nd birthday

Some Christmas traditions never change even when the icing does

Super Bowl and a huge party with friends demanded edible football players

Sweet Valentine's Day with DH

St. Patty's Day requires shamrocks

Library Girl's bridal shower

Can you believe how far I've come in a year? This coming weekend is Little Monkey's 2nd birthday and the cookies will be very low key compared to other events, but I'm pretty sure they'll be really cute. A simple life preserver design - the un-iced cookies look like sad donuts, but I'm convinced that they will be Martha Stewart worthy in chicness and simplicity.

I've been struggling with whether I could actually turn this into a side business. So if y'all have any thoughts or ideas on that, please leave me a comment! I'm not sure if I can charge what I think I deserve because I'm not proven yet. There's a bakery in downtown Ft Worth of some renown who charge close to $3 a cookie. And personally I don't like their cookies enough to eat a whole one much less pay that amount. I feel like the dough is undercooked because of the thickness and the dough itself is sweet. The icing is slightly almond tasting which is never stated before you buy a cookie and it's very sweet. For me they just don't taste how I like a sugar cookie to taste. But the decorating is top notch. Even though I don't care for the cookie itself, I would pay the $3 for a well decorated cookie.

Consider this: to bake, ice and then detail roughly 100 middle to small sized cookies takes approximately 10 - 12 hours. The cost of basic supplies is not all that much (flour, sugar, butter, powdered sugar). The cost of speciality supplies depend on the cookie design (cookie cutter, icing colors, dusting powder, disco dust, sanding sugars and boxes/shipping supplies).

Would you pay $3 for a cookie? Do the math...that's $36 for a dozen. It sounds like a lot even to me, but maybe I need to adjust my mindset?

A Bunch of Nothing

There's not terribly much going on right now. That can be really nice actually - that means no crises, no surprises of the bad variety. So what follows will be a general mishmash of what's been going on, both in the world and in my head.

I made cookie dough tonight using that beauty of a mixer. There is a Little Monkey who will turn 2 this week and is having a sailing party - life preserver cookies are on the list! I'm going to make my first foray into homemade fondant - we'll see how that goes. It involves marshmallows and a microwave - marshmallows and any heat source are a bad combo in my history of baking disasters so I may have to go buy the expensive box kind. I also may end up with purple hands due to dying the fondant red and blue.

My workouts have been pretty great - the new shoes are a huge improvement! Even just switching out the pairs every day helps. I ran 4 today which is the longest I've gone in a long time. I miss my running partner...KW can we run soon? I know it's roughly a million degrees here but c'mon! The weeknight 5-7 mile treks across golf course and roadway are helping my endurance, at least that's what I tell myself. Running intervals in this heat has to increase my endurance, right?

Speaking of working out, there is the diet change to consider. I am looking at this change as a lifestyle change. I don't feel deprived of anything and my cravings for sweets has diminished drastically. I don't much want cake or candy or cookies. I do miss Italian bread and soft cheese, but I can still eat these things. Just in smaller portions. It's difficult to stick to the plan day in and day out because I feel that DH is my one supporter of this. My lunch, or "lack" of a lunch has become the subject of discussion at times at work. I just get tired of justifying what I'm ingesting because I don't feel hungry because of what I'm not eating. I really enjoy what I am choosing to eat, for all of my meals and my snacks. 

Cheat day is coming up. That's a diet cheat day, y'all. DH says it's good to have one every 3-4 weeks so the body doesn't adjust to the lower calorie diet and stop losing weight or think you're starving. Yes cheat day is still a week away but we're already making lists of what we want to eat. A brief view of cheat day? Donuts, oreos, Twisted Root for burgers, fries, fried pickles and shakes, and probably pizza. That's as far as we've made it and I already feel a little sick. Apparently I'm not supposed to work out on cheat day so I did it all wrong last month. I know that I'll still eat moderately that day, it'll just be a lot more calories than usual. Looking at our wish list is funny since a lot of people eat this way more days than not but it's a special day for us!

I've gotten DH hooked on Alias and we're into the second season. He was trying to watch them without me but I pointed out then I wouldn't know how to answer questions without giving things away. I love that he figured out who The Man was without any guidance! I'm dying to get to the end of the second season because the third season opener is AMAZING. But I can't say anything about it until we get there. Sigh....it's so hard keeping the seasons straight and waiting for him to be able to see what happens.

My heart goes out to those in Norway that lost family in the attacks this past weekend. I don't know what triggers people to act on delusions or beliefs in such a physical attack. I know that fanaticism based out of any political or faith based agenda is wrong, yet it happens. Sadly I suspect that all too often we forget this and are quick to say "Well look at his politics....all right wing nuts would do the same" or "What do you expect from a liberal?" when in fact these are the outliers of society. Just because someone is the loudest does not mean that we must pay attention to them as a society in ways that reinforces both those stereotypes and those actions.

Well, that's about everything rattling around in my head for now.

Alice in Wonderland Meets Walt Disney

There is a strange phenomenon occurring outside my apartment complex. When I moved here two years ago there was a pack of these living on the golf course.

I suppose that the local golfers didn't relish the idea of losing a leg or hand over a badly hit ball. One day all of the howling, yowling, yipping and small animal genocide stopped. I don't know whether the coyotes up and moved to Florida or whether they were rounded up and rehabilitated in a nice state penitentary. Perhaps they make the state license plates now?

Regardless, the golfers are now unaccosted and it's definitely quieter on the back nine. But what, you say, is the strange phenomenon? Well it seems there are a plethora of these now....

And these....

And these....one of which was helping himself to the ornamental planter in front of the club house. It looked like the planter was trying to swallow the rabbit as his whole upper body and head were inside chowing down. 

(None of these pictures are mine - I grabbed them from Google images)
I didn't realize we had a plethora of friendly wildlife until we were walking outside the apartment complex yesterday and just outside the brush line was field mouse after field mouse and a few bunnies and a couple dozen birds. The birds were all clustered together. The bunnies were more or less loners and looking for the sweetest spot. But the mice! They were almost evenly spaced every six inches or so in a line, like there was some unseen task master who was telling them when they could eat and where to sit.

The surreal part was that none of these animals seemed to care were were walking past. The mice within maybe two feet would dart back into the brush but all the others just kept eating. As we walked they fell away into the brush and then came back out as we moved past. The birds ignored us as did the rabbits.

I kept looking over my shoulder for The Mad Hatter, Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty. Surely they were just down the road. I think I would have lost it if any of the mice were drinking tea or carrying thimbles.

How Far Do We Go?

DH and I watched I Am Legend last night...and today. I couldn't watch it in the dark - I almost tore the arm of the couch off. Sunlight made it much more bearable. I was actually feeling anxious, my heart was racing and I was physically feeling sick. I couldn't figure out what was bothering me the most. After we switched to some Alias - hey, Sidney Bristow I can get behind - I was thinking about what it was that bothered me the most about the movie.

If you haven't seen it yet, I'll try to not spoil anything. It's centered around the theory that a virus was found that cures cancer. The whole world jumps on the bandwagon. Then, as inevitably happens, something goes awry and this "cure" becomes a whole new beast, an epidemic that kills something like 99% of the world. The remaining 1% are either immune or have devolved due to the virus. That's the plot in a nutshell. I won't tell you how it ends because it's really not important, except to consider if the endings of this type of movie lead us to forget the cause and only focus on what may be.

I realized what bothered me the most is the same thing that bothers me about most zombie movies. There is always a very real cause or catalyst leading to the destruction of a very proud and haughty human race. Are we so far removed from becoming like these movies and books? Are we so sure of ourselves and our quests to unravel all of the mysteries, good and bad, that we'll end ourselves? Will millions of us suffer someday for what an elite few deem necessary without enough research to disprove this theory? Will our passion to end all illness actually cause greater destruction?

Only time will tell whether these questions are ever something to be worried over other than theoretically. In the meantime, if you want a movie that will make you question where our passions, desires and inquiries will lead us, watch I Am Legend....but you might want to leave the lights on.

Running Toward Luke's

**UPDATE - I ran 3.5 in the new Asics and felt great. I'm not completely sold on the Nike's for runs quite yet.**

Y'all know I'm a runner, maybe not the best runner. Okay, definitely not the best runner. At least I don't look like Phoebe when I run.



Actually I've never seen a Phoebe when I run. Lots of ugly runners, people who I run past, or who run past me that sound as though cardiac arrest is imminent. People who wear too little clothing - does anyone in the middle of a marathon want to see someone else's behind hanging out of those little shorts? People dressed up like 80's exercise gurus and monkeys and pirates. Yes, you read that sentence correctly. But no Phoebes.

I try to adhere to the theory that you can run 300 - 400 miles on a pair of shoes before needing to buy a new pair. Usually when my feet hurt I know I need a new pair. The two things I do that are not recommended and bit me in the behind this week?

1. Only run in running shoes
2. Don't take them off without untying them.

Apparently the second of these is most important. When you schlep off your shoe without untying it the "upper" stretches out and there's no recovering. The runner's blister I've been nursing? Because my dang upper was stretched out and the heel cup couldn't fit snug against my gnarly feet.

So I got myself to Luke's as fast as possible after work yesterday. They are my leaders, my gurus, my instructors when it comes to what I do wrong when running. The outcome? Well, I'm definitely poorer and now own two new pairs of shoes.

A cross trainer/runner from Nike

A runner from Asic












We'll see what happens, but for the price I paid they should make me breakfast every morning and clean the apartment while I'm at work.

Das Auto

An appropriate title because I often feel that I am driving on the Autobahn here in the Deep South. I wonder if people are aware of how horrendously they are driving. I'm no saint when it comes to this, as I am most comfortable when I'm traveling 5-10 miles an hour above the speed limit. Yep, I speed.

But I also willingly admit it when the long arm of the law reaches out and jerks me back. What am I going to do, tell the officer he's wrong? I've only ever had two tickets, one for speeding and one for off-roading in my Honda. Different story for a different day. Anyway, I think the cop was genuinely taken aback when I admitted I was speeding and I apologized. I didn't expect to get out of the ticket and he didn't let me go. I did get a different ticket than one that would have negatively impacted my insurance rates and standing in Yankeeland.

But here? Just getting to and from work with all of my facilities intact is something of a miracle. I often pray for safety while on the road. A month or so ago I heard this snippet of a study while, ironically, driving to work: 3 out of 5 Texans WOULD NOT PASS the driving test. IN full disclosure, something like 1 in 5 Americans would not pass.

Does this sound like an awfully high failure rate? Consider this: the same day I heard this study an 18-wheeler attempted to occupy space in my exit only lane, the same space I was currently occupying. Another top-ten on the list is when traffic is traveling well and above the speed limit and the driver behind me is trying to inventory the contents of my trunk.

If you have an emergency and need to get beyond traffic, to say the hospital, please use your four-ways (or hazards as they're called here in the Deep South) and brights and I will gladly move out of your way. Otherwise, plan better, leave earlier and back the front-door off my bumper! It's not my problem if you cannot multitask in the morning.

But I've saved my absolute favorites for last.

If I am in the "Exit Only" lane it's because I. Am. Exiting. Nothing gets me more irritated in the morning than people who use the Exit Only lane to pass the other two bumper-to-bumper lanes of traffic. Because then? I have to sit behind you and wait for someone to let your dumb butt into traffic before I can exit and go to work. I assume that one out of every 5 people don't realize they're in the wrong lane; the other four I want to beat about the head. Not enough to cause permanent harm, just enough to make them think twice before trying to get ahead of everyone else and in the process inconvenience those of us who follow the rules. This irritation has only cropped up in the last couple years because "Exit Only" lanes are as rare in Yankeeland and as a two-way street is in Pittsburgh.

My #1 pet peeve while driving is when other drivers don't use their turn signals. Turn signals are like seat belts. They come in every car and they cannot be legally removed (at least I hope not). This in turn means you are required to use them. By law you are required. If you are merging or trying to get into my lane and you do so without a turn signal prepare to be disappointed. You can gesticulate, yells, flip me off and ride inside my trunk: it makes no difference to me. With the simple flick of a finger you could have been one car length in front of where you are now. All the energy that went into your frustration and anger could have been put to better use. Your blood pressure could be significantly lower. Suddenly questioning that McDonald's you had for lunch? Chest feeling a little tight? Oh, and most importantly, your car will have a statistically lower amount of body damage.

What are your pet peeves when it comes to driving or traffic?

One Year Down...

...and have I learned anything?

One year ago I started this little blog. Thank heavens for the stat tracker or I really would think only 8 people ever read this thing! People, comments are appreciated. You don't have to have an account (I fixed that) but you will have to use the little word verification that pops up (I also fixed that) because I didn't want drug pushers on my blog. The legal kind, not street drugs. Anyway, leave me a note, would ya?

I have learned that sometimes the most random things will strike a chord with others. And sometimes the most serious will elicit the sound of crickets. And a lot of days it's really hard to write anything. And other days it just comes pouring out.

I have learned a lot about the way I think and the way I react to things. I have read a tremendous amount of other blogs that inspire me to be a better writer and be more consistent with my own posting. Hopefully I will continue to strive to post more thoughtfully and often.

If I don't, feel free to give me a hundred lashes with a wet noodle.

Down In The Dumps

Today has been a weird day. Ever had one of those?

I've been a little out of sorts the last couple days, actually. DH has been great about it, and maybe it helps that I'm aware of my mood. I just don't know what the issue is.

Today is the perfect example. Church was good, I met with my finance guys and had a great meeting. I headed home in good spirits. I knew I wanted to work out and then go get a pedicure - a rare treat. I typically don't spend money on something I can do myself. My workout was good and the pedicure was amazing. I even met up with a friend and her little sassy-pants of a daughter for frozen yogurt.

But underneath it all I am kinda sad. I feel the urge to get out of town. Blow this popsicle stand. Burn some rubber. It doesn't matter really what you call it. Even wanderlust doesn't exactly describe it. I want to go somewhere and spend time with people who know me. I guess it's a little home sickness that crept up on me. I was just there last month, but I kind of just want to spend a weekend lying on my parents couch while we watch movies and eat junk food. I want to laugh with my dad and talk in movie quotes with my mom. And I want DH and all of my friends there too. In my mind, the living room is a lot bigger.

The reason that this really sucks is because it could be a lot of different things making me feel this way or influencing me to let me feel this way. I do believe the next two statements I am going to make. I believe that this could be Satan attacking me, stupidhead that he is. I do believe that maybe I'm not eating the right combination of things and am feeling a little under the weather to begin with. And it could be a combination of all of those things. I keep a pretty close tab on my emotional barometer and when it starts to tweak and spin there's a reason. I'm hoping this is all more related to blood sugar and diet, given the way my mood has been swinging around. Ask DH, he can attest to the lightening fast pendulum from happy go lucky to slightly morose. Maybe I've worked out too much and used all my endorphins for the next month?  Hmmm...anyone have a scientific research article pertaining to that theory?

Either way, if anyone has free airline miles they'd like to give up I'd gladly accept them. Pittsburgh, Dayton, Atlanta, Boston, Nashville and Las Vegas all sound good.

The Furnace

An update on the work-out front. There is this thing in the sky here. It's large. It's orange. It's yellow. It's hazy. It makes ice cream trucks melt. Eggs fry on the sidewalks. It's called the sun, specifically the Texas sun.
I worry for the landscapers. I worry about the sanity of watering lawns and golf courses at 1pm when the water evaporates before it can leave the sprinkler head.I worry that one idiot will throw a lit cigarette out their car window and burn the entire state down.

But mostly I hate it for how it impacts my work-out. A circuit that used to be a good run has turned into a marathon through Hades. Sweat drips in my eyes and nothing bums me out more than sweaty eyeballs. The Gatorade that I make sure to carry is the approximate temperature of a tepid bath halfway through the run/walk. It is impossible to run more than a quarter mile in this heat. It's still hovering around 100 degrees when we (a neighbor and I) head out in the evenings. I have a blister on the back of my right heel and that Asic feels loose so the blister won't go away. How is just ONE shoe loose? I should get at the very least another 100 miles out of them before having to crack open the wallet for a new pair.

On the plus side, I am managing to run at least quarter mile intervals in ridiculous heat. I will have a runner's tan, and possibly melanoma, by next week. I guess that's not really a plus, huh? There are spots of shade, which are lovely, but there are not nearly enough of them. I'm trying really hard to stick to the eating plan that DH helped me build, and overall I'm doing really great. I don't miss much except bread and cheese. I think I'm seeing small changes in how my clothes fit and the shape of my face, which help me stay on the plan. It can be hard though, since I lose weight top down...I've always been able to see my cheekbones and ribs, can we move this loss thing a little lower please?

Tonight I will dream about snow and crisp cold air and numb finger tips and chapped lips and knitted hats and running miles and miles without missing a beat. Well, that or I'll be in the Sahara with one loose Asic and warm Gatorade.

In Other News

DH bought me the best gift ever! Well, it's tied with this...

But as much as I love Staal (mine is not a captain's jersey), it cannot make royal icing while I simply stand and watch. Unlike this present....

I can't wait to use it!