Oh That's Beautiful

I'm packing up some stuff around the apartment and today I came across an old perfumed talc container that was my grandmother's. I think it might be from Avon, but it couldn't hold greater value to me if it was from Baccarat. I'd completely forgotten that I had possesion of it and in an instant the sight and smell caused a thousand memories to flood back.

My paternal grandparents lived next door to us. It was a wonderful way to grow up. Their yard was our MBL park. Their driveway a roller coaster ride on a bicycle. Their kitchen a cornucopia of high fructose corn syrup and hydrogenated oils and love, lots of love. Their driveway a source of income due to their nicotine habits - they used to pay us a dollar to pick up all the butts.

My grandmother was Slovakian. She was a small well built woman who loved her family. She was always willing to have her grandkids over, despite the messes we made. She laughed easily. According to legend she occasionally threw things when my dad was growing up, including knives and ice cream. She must have found solace in the fact that we grandkids would go back and torture our parents after a couple hours because nothing was ever lobbed in our directions.

She said the word "beautiful" as though it was a mouthful of a word - it became "beeyouteefull" and she used it often. She would ask for a sliver of dessert and by the time she was done telling you what size the sliver should be it was a normal size piece of cake or pie. She made it a necessity to have cans of soda and fun-sized candy bars in the fridge at all times. She knew what each of us preferred and would meet us at the door with it - mine was coke and snickers.

She wore dentures and after she took them out in the evening was embarrassed when anyone showed up unexpectedly, such as myself looking for some sugar. She would keep her hand raised to cover her mouth the whole time she talked to you. She would always wear old lady housecoats in the evening, you know the ones that button up the front. She loved to eat circus peanuts because she could gum them to death without her teeth in. This was one place where she and I differed vehemently. I can't stand the idea of those orange sickly sweet puffs, but she loved them.

She was terrified of animals....all animals: dogs, cats, even butterflies. You would have thought they had teeth...the butterflies, that is.

She talked to the food she made - "chinka chinka chinka". Pigs in a blanket - not the rolls with mini hot dogs but cabbage leaves stuffed with meat -, nut rolls, pickled pigs feet and eggs and pizzelles were specialties. Every New Year's Eve ended at midnight by having a feast including pork roast, mashed potatoes and sauerkraut. She made sure we each were given a quarter at midnight because if you start the year with money in the hand, you will end the year with money in the hand. 

She thought that I was beautiful, and she loved to hear me sing. She loved me, just as I was. I'm so glad I was reminded of how wonderful she was by simply cleaning up a bit.

Do You Ever...

...have writer's block when you want to blog?

...get sad when you realize that your favorite group is no longer a group because things like life have intervened and then you get all weirdly proud of them for recognizing that family is more important but you're still a little peeved that you can no longer go drink beer and sing along in small mind-blowingly loud venues and maybe hang out with the band after?

...try to get a good run in only to have something you ate sabotage you and twist parts of your gastrointestinal anatomy into knots?

...miss your hand-holding peanut-butter-and-jelly-making Alias-loving boyfriend when only leaving him 8 hours prior?

...wish there was something in the refrigerator that consisted of chocolate and cream and peanut butter instead of sweet potatoes, fish and vegetables?

...find one of your favorite movies on TV late at night and just have to watch it, even though you own it on DVD?

...yearn for some time where you grew up, and where it's currently 30 degrees cooler?

...let your hair air dry and end up looking like a hair band groupie from the 80s?

...feel a desperate need to see your best friend in the world because they know you better than you know yourself?

...get a song stuck in your head and end up using part of the lyrics for a post title?
Brandi Carlile, I heart you.

(Both videos are from YouTube)

My Confession

I used to dream of being on stage. I was a theater major in undergrad and never knew whether I was any good or if I was an actress wannabe. But how I loved being on stage singing.

The smell of any theater space is a heady combination of hope, sawdust, people funk, heat and stillness. Like the space has been just waiting for someone to come along and realize their potential. And you can never disappoint the space like you can yourself or others.

I miss that optimism.


">“/>

Coffee Klatch

Is it a klatch if it's just me and I'm sitting on my couch by myself?

There's a world of change happening down here in the Deep South and I'll post about it as soon as I can. I hate change in some respects and appreciate it in others. So as a small diversion I'm going to attempt something different here.

A - Awn. When I was little, my younger brother called me Awnie Becca....does that tell you how often I was in trouble that he knew my middle name?!?
B - Bread, any kind. I crave bread. Hunks of it with a great cheese.
C - Classy is what I'd like to be on a regular basis. Working on it.
D - Diagnosing hearing loss and weeding out those little fakers (ok, so there's many more normal kiddos than fakers) is how I spend my day.
E - Every night and morning I check all the blogs I follow. Every. Single. Day. I'm terrified I'll miss something!
F - Football!!!!!!! It's starting. I'm talking about college ball, people. Specifically SEC ball. I love this time of year.
G - God, my Father and His ever present grace. I'm so glad I'm a child of His!
H - Hockey....oh hockey. I miss Da Burgh and hockey at all times. I relish any glimpse of the Pens and ice and a puck.
I - Icing cookies with royal icing and fondant and anything else I see on the web.
J - Justification of shopping trips for frivolous things. I excel at this. It's sad.
K - Keeping us real - the girls at work are not afraid to call each other out. Totally real.
L - Laughing with my DH. Loving my DH. We laugh over the goofiest things and once we get going there is no stopping. I love him wholeheartedly.
M - My momma. She's become one of my best friends, a true support. I never thought that would happen when I was a moody stinky teenager.
N - Not a fan of horror movies. I almost ripped the couch arm from DH's furniture when we watched I Am Legend....which isn't even a horror movie. So you can imagine if we'd watch something actually scary.
O - Outrunning my insecurities. Trying to.
P - Putting myself out there and being vulnerable with others.
Q - Q-Tips. I know, I know. I'm an audiologist and I use Q-Tips. Please don't take away my license!
R - Running and running and running. Running toward a second half marathon.
S - Submersion into any book I'm reading. I love learning about the characters and how they develop and succeed or fail. I love a true to life book - you know, not always a perfect Hollywood ending.
T - Too much caffeine. I drink coffee like it's keeping me alive.
U - Unable to sit on the patio because of the golfers. Hockey gear just isn't comfortable in 100+ temperatures and I'm not a fan of traumatic brain injuries, so no patio for me.
V - Vaniqa. Yes the hair remover stuff. I was trying to remember the name of any restless leg syndrome medication the other night and somehow busted out that DH needed Vaniqa. Totally not the same medication.
W - Without hair dye I would be much older appearing than I actually am. Feria, I love you.
X - X is always x-rays. I've had a million. Grace will never be my middle name.
Y - Yonkers...has anyone ever been there?
Z - Zumba, I'd like to try you. Please be available sometime soon.

I guess it's back to the real world and some closet cleaning.

Run, Forest, Run

So my running partner is back! She took a short hiatus due to a little thing called "having offspring". Anyway, we've been fitting in night runs wherever we can. Her hubby is a triathlon lovin' fool and it's tough finding time for two parents to get workouts in.

I've stepped up my game the last couple weeks because we'd love to run the White Rock 1/2 in December. Which is in 3 months. Which means we have to not die after running 13.1 miles. In 3 months. I'm running a pretty consistent 4 miles at a time and my pace isn't bad - somewhere between 10.30 and 10 minute miles. We ran a slightly slower 4 tonight and finished in 47 minutes. I think that's pretty amazing since the air is like soup right now - I adore the rain we got here yesterday, but it definitely upped the humidity something crazy - and we talk the whole time we run.

The only downside of the run tonight? Quarter sized spiders and copious crickets along one 1/4 mile stretch...that we had to run twice since we run a circuit. We're talking large spiders, people. And neither of us are bug people. So picture two normal women who suddenly are jumping side to side as they run, occasionally running into each other.

The rain also brought out the Egyptian plague-style grasshoppers...you have to watch out or they jump up and smack you in the face or body when you walk past them. Luckily the grasshoppers must be day bugs as they were nowhere to be seen. I don't think we could have made it otherwise. 

AWOL...That's Me

Which would be a really horrible thing if I were enlisted anywhere except in my own life. Nah, I mean AWOL from blogging. There are some great reasons.  I was waiting for my new jump drive to come, and for photoshop to get installed. I was in Leadership Foundation training. I'm an extrovert - oh wait, that doesn't make sense. I needed to have dinner with DH and friends. I've been a running fool. My right ankle feels weird. I had to make and sip a cup of hot chocolate - yes, I know it's plus 100 degrees here; but I'm ready for fall and football and scarves. I felt the need to finish  four books on my Kindle and then start The Hunger Games again, for the fourth time.

Tonight, though, it was mainly the hot chocolate's fault. Well, in all honesty, it was Photoshop's fault for being too big to install tonight. Sigh. Hot chocolate from The Skinny Chef was then in order.

1 cup skim milk
2 teaspoons unsweetened cocoa - I like Hershey's Special Dark
1 tablespoon honey or agave
1/4 teaspoon cinnamon

Blend and heat. It saved the night.

8 Quirks

I am a quirky girl. DH reminds me of this on a regular basis but he loves me and my quirks, so it's ok. I thought y'all would enjoy a snippet of the many quirks that make me, well, me!

1. I use weird sometimes regional, sometimes familial, words in everyday speech. A sampling includes: kibosh - to nip something in the bud, put a stop to; tookus - Yiddish in origin and means your behind, derriere, bottom; thingamajig whoochacallit flinky and whoozit - all interchangeable terms for that thing over there that I cannot remember the name of; cattywampus - all askew.

2. I make up new words to songs or tunes. I am constantly singing or humming, even if it's just a theme song to a TV show - CSI: Las Vegas anyone? This happens most frequently in the car as I'm singing along with the radio and someone nearby does an incredibly stupid thing. I just comment on it as I'm singing. I also do it at home when the upstairs elephants awaken and plod around. I tend toward the operatic when I'm alone at home.

3. I have a specific way of loading the dishwasher and stocking the fridge. If the milk is moved to a new spot rest assured I will move it back to where it belongs. I will also reload the dishwasher. Is my way better? Does it utilize space more efficiently? I have no blessed idea. I just know I can't sleep otherwise. Maybe I'm a little OCD...are here I thought lining up my jelly beans by color before eating them was just a fun habit.

4. I have no friends left who are under the impression that they will receive birthday or anniversary cards in the mail. I do buy the cards. I write in them. I address them. I even stamp them. And then I forget to mail them for months at which point I feel silly sending them.

5. I will reread a book I don't particularly like in order to be reading something. I have a pathological need to be reading something, anything. The back of a cereal box would do, if I bought cereal. I also rarely put a book down unfinished.

6. Along those lines, I have an interesting method of choosing books at the library or book store. I choose by title. Yep, title. I take author into consideration, but I will come home from the library with 10 books, all of which could contain anything in the way of story lines, character development or author notoriety.

7. I love names that evoke other eras or places. Names such as Miller, Murphy, Brandt, Finn (Phinneaus), Harlow, Sunday, Henry, Rose, Max, Charlotte, Lula (Tallulah), Lucy and Ruby.

8. I burp big scary man burps when I drink Diet Root Beer. It's like they add in extra carbonation. It's quite embarrassing when I'm in public...or with DH...or by myself. Ok, so it's just embarrassing all around.