Yesterday I turned on MTV and it was a True Life episode about a family in Louisiana. The mom, who is trying to be friends with her kids before a mom (or so it seemed after watching just a couple minutes) resorts to calling her teenage daughter, whom she had been drinking with, a B*tch. What?
Disturbingly enough, I have heard more mothers than those on TV call their own daughters this same name. Girls who are as young as 5. What possesses any grown woman to call a girl this? Should we be surprised when generations of teenage girls feel that they are worthless, not enough, dirty in some way, needing to find acceptance in whatever way necessary when they can't trust their own mothers to love and cherish them?
My mom is a wonderful loving Godly beautiful funny woman who would never dream of demeaning any of her children in any way. Especially not verbally. I never questioned my worth in her eyes, even when I had disappointed her to the depths of which I won't understand until I am a mom myself.
So, mommas, please love on those kids. Don't be their friend first and their mom second. Uphold them, tell them how precious they are, whisper the hopes of your heart in their ears while they sleep, and always let them know they are worthy. If you're not a momma but can influence kids, please do. You never know if you might be the one person to show them what they are worth.
Thanks Shell for once again letting me pour my heart out.
I also enjoy trashy TV on MTV.
ReplyDeleteBut it's burns me up to see parents or other women call their daughters or friends that or any other demeaning word.
If we call each other sluts and the like it only tells men that it's ok to call us that.
Oh! My roomie got he hooked on Jersey Shore...maybe the lowest of the low, I know. I'm convinced that they are all smarter that portrayed and it's all for TV...but a little piece of me is scared it's actually them at full potential.
DeleteI agree that it gives license to believe that it's open game when it comes to calling people names. Sigh.
I totally agree. It is absolutely disgusting.
ReplyDeleteAmen Teresa, amen. It makes me really sad that people think it's ok.
DeleteI think that's one of those words that has become so common in our society that people don't even think about it. Sad.
ReplyDeleteSad indeed Shell. I know I will never call my future children these types of names. Instead I hope that I can praise them publicly and let others see what I cherish. Um...remind me I said that when I'm sleep deprived some day, ok?
DeleteI worked in a public library for the past three years, and holy hell, you'd be shocked to hear what those moms say to their kids! Things worse than bitch. It would break my heart every time and I'd want to take all the kiddos home with me!
ReplyDeleteI see it at work at times too, working at a pediatric hospital, and it still gets me worked up every time. The worst is when the parent doesn't even seem aware that they're lashing out.
DeleteOn another topic, I was a librarian throughout undergrad and both my brothers have their masters in Library Sciences! It's nice to meet a fellow bookie.
That's crazy! I actually just quit my job at the library to finish my bachelors before heading to med school for pediatric oncology, so we're on similar paths!
DeleteFound you through PYHO by the way!
ReplyDeleteThat's what I love about PYHO! Finding new blogs and bloggers that are pretty freaking awesome.
DeleteIt's awful. When kids hear it from such a young age, I don't think they even realize until later how truly terrible it really is.
ReplyDeleteAnd it's such a part of what they consider "culture" today. In what world is it ok to justify demeaning behavior by calling it part of the "culture"? Nevermind, if I think about that too long I will come up with way too many examples, I'm sure.
DeleteShudder. It's why I don't watch TV. OK, no it's not. But it sure helps justify the decision.
ReplyDeletehttp://jesterqueen.com
Well now I'm curious...why don't you watch TV? DH and I went through a long period where he didn't have cable of any kind and now that he does I think we're doing ok at not watching too terribly much. But it's easy to get sucked back in!
DeleteYou're right, it is disturbing. And I think mothers may refer to their daughters this way because that's how they see themselves. I think a lot of people also don't realize the effect their words have. "Oh, it was just a joke!" But heard enough times, it creeps into the psyche.
ReplyDeleteI thank God for my mother who would be wounded to the quick if I ever thought this way of myself! But I think you're right. The views of our heart come out of our mouths.
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