Humble Pie

Something I often forget to be: humble. Something I am often without thinking about it: prideful.

It's so easy to do, build ourselves up. Think that what we do is more important that someone else's goals or achievements. "I can do that better. I can test better, write up results faster, find better deals, run faster, save more money" Pride sneaks up on us. It grows and grows until it's all around us and we didn't even see it's gestation.

Now that's not to say that pride in all aspects is a bad characteristic or trait or value. Am I proud of my doctorate degree? You bet. Am I proud that I'm fiscally sound compared to where I was when I moved here? Oh yeah. Am I proud when I make a tough decision that may not benefit me and there is an easier less moral alternative present? Yup.

Am I proud when I finish a work-out and compare myself to someone else who didn't work out or not as long? Yeah. Am I proud when I can run faster than a friend? Sigh....yes. Am I proud when I make a decision that should be second nature as a Christian but I struggle through it anyway? Ok, ok, I get it.

Where does it end? In my case it ended this afternoon, once again.

When I started running almost two years ago I could only run a minute or two at a time before stopping to breath. As my running times and distances increased I went back and forth between being utterly amazed and really proud of myself. I started to see the similarities and metaphors present in scripture regarding running and what a race it is to be a Christian. One of my favorite versus is Hebrews 12:1-3:

1 Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, 2 fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3 For consider Him who has endured such hostility by sinners against Himself, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.(New American Standard)

I felt like I had a physical action that personified my walk in faith. Thinking about this verse and the way it applied to me would often help me through a run. But even with this background, pride still has a way of sneaking up on me.

This afternoon my running partner and I unexpectedly attempted an 8 mile run. In 95 degree heat. With rising humidity. And an infinitesimal amount of cloud cover. And I failed in a big way. Barney might even say it was legendary, but in a horrific way. I had been feeling really smug about how well we had been running. Even feeling like I was a better runner than other people I know because I was running a better mile time than they did. 

See where I went wrong? I could have been proud that I was running a faster mile than I have in the past. I should not have been proud that I was running faster than someone else. Because this better runner only ran about a mile and a half out of six this afternoon. God poured lead into my legs and mud into my lungs. I couldn't have kept going if there was a bear chasing me. My absolute fear of bears in my dreams and that long sordid past is for another post.

The point is that my unjustified pride was ballooning out of control and needed to be blown up. God's good like that, always knowing what I need. He's given me many things that I can and should be proud of and He doesn't hesitate to humble me when I need it. He's good like that.