Trying to have a family isn't as easy as I thought it would be. I never thought that we would be dipping our toes into the "infertility" pool. It kind of sucks, right? As teenagers, whether you're having sex or not, you worry about getting pregnant. And now I'm worrying about NOT getting pregnant. DH and I are happy, so happy, just being married. This should be enough for us. We have each other and we have our furry babies. We have great jobs and wonderful families. We are blessed in a myriad of ways. But we want a family.
A family. It doesn't have to look like everyone else's family. But I want it. I want it so bad I can taste it. I want it bad enough that we're on the Clomid train. Oh, what's that? Twins you say? Bring it. Even a slight chance of triplets? I'll take those odds.
Would DH and I be happy without a family? We could be. Will a baby be the glue that keeps us together? Nope. We're the glue that holds us together. Well, and God. Without Him we're up the creek without a paddle. Would we be a kick ass mom and dad? You bet.
What I know, though, is that if Clomid doesn't work, if we have to jump through flaming hoops, move toward adoption or further then that's what we'll do. And in the meantime, we're keeping our eyes open for what God is showing us right now. What He's teaching us right now. What we could be doing that's bigger right now. But I would be really thrilled if the Clomid train would reach it's intended destination.
Until then you can probably find me in the kitchen, eating donuts and drinking wine.
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Praying for you Iced Tea Princess! I never had to walk the Clomid road but we had our own fertility issues. Even though they sucked, looking back I can see God's hand in it all. You have such a great attitude about it and I wish I was that mature! I am gonna tell Jay to pick up some wine and donuts and I will do a donut/wine fast and pray hard for you while enjoying them. Love you!
ReplyDeleteIt's really the least he can do for a Princess. And if the Queen demands it, then it shall be so! Thanks for the prayers. Seriously.
DeleteI have said many times I wish I could get back all the money I wasted on birth control over the years!
ReplyDeleteHang in there! Clomid works for lots of folks, and there are lots of options out there beyond it as well.
I rode the fertility train for a while, so if you ever need a sympathetic ear when it feels like the rest of world is pregnant, send me a message.
And, wine? It helps so many things :-)
I think my train missed it's station. Maybe I need a new conductor? And some wine...thanks for sticking with me even though it's been approximately forever since I last posted. =)
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