It's raining here in the Deep South. We need it, for sure. It's perfect curl up and read weather. It's perfect snuggle on the couch and watch a movie weather. It's perfect pancake weather.
It is not perfect running weather. At. All. My running partner and I were supposed to run 8 miles tonight. Totally not happening in the deluge that has been hanging out over our neck of the woods.
So instead I ran down the street to Wal-Mart and bought a $10 biggest loser cardio-max work-out DVD. Why is it so much harder to do cardio for an hour than run for an hour? Ok, I should preface this with the fact that our 4 mile run on Thursday was awful. But in general I can go run with my girlie and we can do pretty good. But Bob Harper makes me feel like a huge failure in the fitness arena.
Adding to this period of hard runs is the fact that DH and I have gotten away from the strict eating plan we were doing. And given that he was one of my few supports for that eating plan, it's hard to not want to eat crap all the time. We do not want to be happy fat, dangit!
Compounding (such a fancy way of saying "adding to" except I just used "adding to") my feeling of poor self-esteem today is the "I Used to Be Fat" marathon on MTV. According to one of their weight loss gurus, my weight should be about 24 pounds less than it is now for my height. 24 pounds. I don't think I will ever see 125 pounds again. If memory serves correctly, I think I may have sped past 125 pounds when I was about 10 years old in between bites of a Snickers bar.
Taking the proverbial step backward here, I do realize that I am in the best shape of my life right now. I have run and cardio'd and changed what I eat and look and feel the best that I have ever been. I am healthier than I have been in a long time. I want to be around for a long time because DH has promised he's not letting me go anywhere anytime soon. But somedays it just doesn't seem like anything is changing and that I'm spinning my wheels and not getting anywhere.
Do any of you ever feel like this? What is your personal motivation for continuing to try and be the best you? What gets you down?
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