He's All I Need

Today is E and I's third anniversary. When I think back to that day, I remember how horrible I felt when I woke up, how great I felt after some Excedrin, how nervous I felt about getting everything done on time and mostly how ready I was to be his wife.



I thank the Lord every day for my husband. He is all that I need on this earth. E never is dismissive or demeaning. He is not selfish or a hoarder of his time. He is not fearful of our future or of where our lives may take us. He is not mean or vindictive. He is not stingy with his love. He doesn't leave me behind.

He is supportive in the best ways. He doesn't tell me what I want to hear but what is true. He brings me back down when I'm mad and he doesn't walk away from disagreements. He tells me that we'll be ok when all of our infertility options are over, whether we have kids or not. He doesn't tell me it will all be fine. He goes out of his way daily to make sure I know he cherishes me. He is protective and committed. He always has my back no matter the circumstance. He edifies me daily. He loves me second only to God.

When I look back on all the men that I dated and how my life could have turned out at the age of 37...well some of those pictures are downright ugly and others are just different. I am thankful each moment that I am married to the man before me. I would not have chosen as well as the Lord did when He brought us together. I would have chosen a life that was filled with uncertainty or grief, a life that would have be harder than it had to be, because I'm not able to see into the future. Only hindsight has provided me with this knowledge. I don't know if that other life may have been great in ways or if the bad would be more than the good.

I do know that it wouldn't have been as good as this one. As e.e. cummings wrote:

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in

my heart)i am never without it(anywhere

i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done

by only me is your doing,my darling)

                                                      i fear

no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want

no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)

and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant

and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows

(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud

and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows

higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)

and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

I love you, my dear husband.