Humbled

I had a moment yesterday when I was completely humbled.

For a long time, years at this point, I have had a heart for the poor. I feel for them, I wonder why they're homeless. I want to help them in a way that allows them to maintain their pride and not feel like being given a handout, that I'm not trying to negate all the good they have accomplished in their life. I worked occasionally with a group in Da Burgh that provided breakfast sandwiches and a bible study at the day labor locations. We would get up super early, like 3:30, make a ton of sandwiches and head out. The men that we met were looking for work, to better themselves. Maybe some were looking for a handout but what concern is that of mine?

Proverbs is pretty clear about our responsibility toward the poor, along with widows and orphans. I'll focus on the poor...because these days it feels like we're all a few steps away from it. The pastor at our church gave a great sermon last year sometime about Proverbs and the poor. It boils down to that as Christians, we are not called to question the motives of the poor. We are not supposed to worry about how they use what we feel led to give. The blessing isn't related to how they use the resource, but in the free and willful giving on our part. And remember that giving doesn't mean monetary necessarily. It can be time, advice, skill building, or of course money.

Proverbs 28:27 "He who gives to the poor will never want, but he who shuts his eyes will have many curses."
Proverbs 14:31 ""He who oppresses the poor taunts his Maker, But he who is gracious to the needy honors Him."

I drive home from work the same way every day. At one particular stoplight there is usually a homeless guy. Not always the same guy, but a rotating guest list, if you will. Now I know that it makes DH and my family and friends nervous that I roll down my car window and give a little something if I can. If I have nothing to give but a kind word, I will offer that sometimes. Yes it's a little scary to make yourself vulnerable to the unknown. Yes, one of them could try to harm me. But God doesn't ask us to only give when we're comfortable or feel secure. I've offered money, food and just a smile.

Last night I was at the light and there was a new guy there. He was just sitting on the curb, not asking for anything. He looked like he was enjoying the sunset and almost meditating. I remembered that I had some cash left in my wallet. I usually don't carry cash because, well, it's 2012 and most of us use our cards for everything. I rolled down my window, said hello, passed over a bill and he thanked me profusely. I told him to have a good night and stay safe. And you know what he asked me?

He asked me if I had a relationship with God. When I replied that I do, he said "He blesses me every day."

Blessed. There was no sarcasm, no self-pity, no self-righteousness. Just a man stating a fact. He is blessed everyday. Homeless. Down on his luck.

The light turned green and I made my turn. As I drove away, I was filled with shame that I had only given him a one dollar bill and not more. I was humbled that I have so much and yet forget to see the blessings that surround me every second of the day. But he could when it may be easier to see the hardships and not the blessings. I am surrounded by worldly crap that I own or rent or use. I am nowhere near being poor. Maybe we're all closer to poor with the current economic climate, but I don't have to wonder where my next meal is coming from or when, where or when I might sleep. I don't have to choose between bills to pay or food on the table. I don't have to beg rides from people to get to work. I have a choice of clothing everyday. But he still called himself a blessed man.

My eyes filled with tears as I thanked the Lord out loud as I drove for humbling me and convicting me that while I gave, I could give more. And praising Him for the peace I felt that accompanied the giving. I acted and I don't know how that man would use what I gave, but knowing that God loves that I gave without regard for what I would get in return is blessing enough.

The curb was empty tonight on my way home. But my heart is full. I know wherever he is tonight, he is blessed. And I was all the more blessed today for meeting him yesterday.