Dear Lord, I Think I've Learned Patience...Can We Get This Show On The Road?

Guys, I am so tired of waiting. Anyone else waiting on something? Maybe it's something huge like E and I. Maybe it's something little but exciting - Amazon order, am I right? Maybe you're in line waiting on cupcakes at a bakery. I fully support that, by the way. Send me one if you can. Strawberry is my favorite...unless there are macaroons.

Waiting is hard. It's frustrating and it's sucky. I know I'm supposed to be learning something during this time of waiting. If anyone has a clue about what that is, I'd appreciate a heads up. In reality I do know that I have learned a lot from this waiting. At the moment though they are lessons that I'm not too thrilled about. I even know that when I look back at this time in E and I's lives, it will most likely be clear about why this period of waiting happened. But when I'm in the middle of it there isn't that clarity. There isn't the ability to say "Oh, even if I never know why I had to wait at least I can see how much I learned while waiting." Nope, just plain want to tear my hair out waiting. And drink some pinot grigio.

The waiting we're doing right now is almost worse than the rest of this process. Yes, we were on the wait list for what felt like FOREVER. But because we were so far down on the list there wasn't this constant anticipatory feeling. Since finding out we are first on the list it's been like living on the edge of a razor. We actually did pass on a single embryo about a month ago. We will be transferring two embryos since this is the big finale to our procreating rodeo, After passing that embryo on, every time my phone rings my adrenaline shoots up, I breath faster. I basically am convinced that this is THE CALL.

Woe to the cold call representative who dials my phone number these days. Last week it was a home security company. I wanted to rip the poor man's head off. I didn't, I was sweet. But man alive I wanted to yell "Unless you're calling to offer me a BABY you should hang up immediately." Something tells me that this would not be smart, as I may get offers I don't want. Eww.

I just wanted to share where we are because I know that many of you are keeping tabs and we love that you are with us in spirit. The support we have received because of saying "Hey, guys? This having a baby thing is really hard for us. Like not happening on it's own haaaard." We're hoping that we will soon be able to share the news that our little Eskimos are being sent our way. Until then does anyone have another bottle of wine?