Sometimes fracturing isn't a bad thing. It can make you stronger. Sometimes we need to fall apart, figuratively, in order to make it through harder times later. To grow faith. To believe more.
But today it just feels like I have no control over where things are going. Maybe I don't. Today it feels like I've taken a wrong turn somewhere and ended up in a place I should never have been. Today it feels like I'm wrung out emotionally and physically.
I know that tomorrow may bring a lighter heart and less pressure from myself to meet and exceed expectations. That when I wake up I may see how blessed I am in so many ways. That needs may have been met and life will look brighter.
It's not much but it's my heart today.
Thanks Shell for always being a safe place to pour out my heart.
I very much know this feeling. I'm slowly putting myself back together now. One day at a time....
ReplyDeleteKeep going!
DeleteThis is such a frustrating place to be. I hope you get back to being whole and feeling a little less pressure for perfection, that's too much for any of us.
ReplyDeleteStopping by from Shell's PYHO!
Thanks Leslie...self-guilt. I should have been Catholic.
DeleteYou don't have to be perfect. It will drive you insane, and the stress is mind blowing! I know, I've been there. Laugh more, take care of yourself and don't worry if some little thing goes wrong.
ReplyDeleteTami, if only I weren't such a Type A personality!
DeleteBeing perfect is highly overrated. It is our imperfections which make us interesting.
ReplyDeleteDeep breaths, girl. While you can try harder, remember that there's no such thing as perfect. xo
ReplyDeleteHang in there, girl. Breathe...There's no perfect wife, christian, woman, employee, or anything. Feeling like you have to be perfect is exhausting, and I can relate.
ReplyDeleteJust remember, He who has begun a good work will complete it! (Philippians 1:6)
I love that verse, b/c it's not my work, it's His. You are his work, so stop trying so hard and be still, breathe, and rely on Him to perfect you where you need it. To his standards, not anyone else's. :) Sending hugs!
Adrienne, thank you so much. I teared up a little when I read your comment. I forget to rely on Him and instead try to rely on myself, which is never a good idea.
DeleteHang in there - it's hard when you feel so much pressure from so many different places/people. Remember that you don't have to be perfect, just be you! I know it's exhausting, but take a deep breath and tackle one thing at a time, and remember to take care of you.
ReplyDeleteLacey @ And They Call Me Mommy
Lacey, I definitely need to remember to take care of myself. Thanks for the advice.
DeleteDoesn't it feel good to just get it out? Say it and let it go?
ReplyDeleteI hope the following day was better!
Today was better, Melissa, so that's a good thing. I can say it now I just need to work on the letting go part.
DeleteI have neglected to tell you what an anazing young woman you are! Thank you for your dedication!
ReplyDelete