Am I destined to be this size forever? And I don't mean that in a "I can't be happy where I am" way. Just an honest question. I may never lose this last 10 - 15 pounds. No one else may ever notice it or give it a second thought, but to me it's a failure.
I have friends using the same tools I do that are dropping weight. I'm so happy for them but totally jealous at the same time. It drives me crazy that I can't do the same. I feel like no matter the drive I have, the steps I take, the changes I make...I still end up right here. "Does that tree look familiar?" "We've been here before."
I really do not want to be the incredible flabby lady on my wedding night. Those dresses hide a lot, but there's no hiding once the dress is gone and life goes back to normal. I used to wish I had been born in the civil war era because those dresses and hoops hid any size badonkadonk without trouble.
I dream of a day when I look in the mirror and am happy with what I see. I want to not worry about how my butt looks in those jeans or whether my calves are too big (darn zippered boots keep reinforcing that one...). I'm scared I will never get there and then I'll get pregnant some day and the pounds will roll on and never leave. I worry that there's nothing I can do or try to lose the weight. Even if it's "only" 10-15 pounds.
Thanks Shell for letting me say what I'm scared to.
I'm close to 40 now and I have a harder time losing those 10 pounds too! It is so hard sometimes to look in the mirror and try to find the lighter version of myself. My husband tells me that I look great but I don't feel great. I know what my body should feel like and this just isn't it. My heart goes out to you!
ReplyDeletePreppy Girl, doesn't it suck how much harder it is now to lose weight? Especially when it was hard when I was younger? Sigh...
DeleteI completely feel you. I put on a whole 12 week challenge (which I might do again in the summer, you should join me!) and everyone lost weight but me! It's exactly the same - 10-15lbs. I work out all the time, eat very healthfully - almost entirely fruits, nuts, vegetables, and small amounts of healthy protein/carbs. Yet I can't lose the weight. I do all the "things" everyone says to do.
ReplyDeleteI think it might be stress, for me. They also say if you are stressed and don't sleep well or drink water, you can't lose weight. Well I drink water but I am very stressed.
I've also recently gotten my thyroid tested and some other tests to see if that is why.
It's not the worst thing in the world to be the size I am. But it is uncomfortable and frustrating. I just want to feel myself.
I know...I don't feel completely comfortable, which is the worst part.
DeleteThat last 15 pounds is always the worst. Sometimes I feel like my body is laughing at me, "haha - I'm holding onto these last pounds with everything I have, and you can't take them!" but I know that isn't really true. SO, I understand exactly what you are saying. You aren't alone.
ReplyDeleteDarn bodies! Why do they rebel so?
Deleteoh boy, I'm right there with you! no advice, just commented to share the burden...
ReplyDeleteIt helps knowing it's a shared burden, for sure.
DeleteOh I feel you, Except I had the last 10 to go and got pregnant again... Hopefully I can lose all of it this time. and faster than last time!
ReplyDeleteCongratulations Audrey! My friends tell me breast feeding helps, but I can't say from experience!
DeleteThose last 10 are such a killer! I'm debating if I should just give up on trying to get rid of them and just embrace where I am!
ReplyDeleteWhy oh why are the last ones so hard????
DeleteI can't lose any weight no matter how hard I try. I would love to lose 10lbs. That is all, but I can't no matter how hard I run or how much I watch what I eat. I think like Shell I am going to have to just embrace my new me.
ReplyDeleteI hope you find your happy space with your wedding dress.
Thanks Heather! I hope I can be like Shell too...I fear that this is the new me so I'd better suck it up and put on my big girl panties about this!
DeleteI'm in the same boat. I can't complain because it isn't the worst thing to be this weight. People tell me I look fine but I hate it. I have never been this size while not pregnant and I hate the way I look in all my clothes. I hate more that nothing I do works to lose these 10lbs. Not Weight Watchers, not Lose it.com, not exercise. It is so frustrating. You are definitely not alone.
ReplyDeleteFrustrating about describes it!
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