The last few days have kicked my butt. It's been like being in emotional boot camp where every possible emotion has happened at extremes. New babies and lives lost. Wonderful dates and irrational anger. Motivation and lackadaisical work ethic. Joy and grief. If my mind is a rubber band we are quick approaching the breaking point.
I have found myself in the gym every day, straining toward some peace of mind. Pushing myself harder and faster. If there was an affordable hot yoga studio nearby I would easily revert back to my grad school days and be there five times a week. I have the urge to funnel all of my energy, good and bad, into a baking spree until there's nothing left of me except a pile of clothing on my kitchen floor.
Yet at the end of the day, I know that no matter how exhausted I am or will be in the future, no matter the lack of emotional fortitude available to me, no matter the tears that come unbidden and won't leave despite my entreaties, that I am not alone in this. I am embraced and supported by arms stronger than any earthly device or human form. The only place I have to seek comfort that is sustaining beyond the words that friends offer is in my God. The last few days have given me a deeper appreciation for the peace and acceptance of what I cannot change that is found in Him.
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